Let’s get down to the nitty-gritty and discuss what was learned from this week in history.
1. We learned that not even I can be as cool as Bruce Campbell.
2. We learned that the media can’t be objective about acts of congress when said acts put money in their pockets.
3. We learned which one of these girls will grow up to be awesome.
4. I learned what kind of hat I have been missing all my life:
5. We learned that there are some politicians that might have some sense. (Even though he wants to save some stupid programs)
6. We learned “Who’s More Responsible”:
7. We learned who Boy’s Best Friend is:
8. We learned that there are now 2 types of milk that I will not drink. Buttermilk and this.
9. We learned to score one more for Laffer.
10. We learned that Mormons have no good reason to think Jesus was born on April 6. Via a friendface exchange with a friend:
Friendface Friend: “Happy Birthday to our Savior.”
Me: Indeed, about 3 months ago (most likely).
Friendface Friend: “Nope, Christmas is the celebration of his birth but the Christmas holiday came about because it was a time of year that they wanted to celebrate a Christian holiday to combat the pagan one of the winter solstice. So they decided to celebrate the birth of Christ during that time of the year. There is much research that I will list if you like that states that Christ’s actual birth was in the spring of the year and that he died right around if not on his actual birthdate which is why Easter is celebrated at that time of year as well. Think about it, there were no Shepherds abiding in fields with their sheep in the middle of winter in Jerusalem. Sheep and lambs were herded during the spring months and early summer. The shepherds also wouldn’t sleep on the ground in the middle of December or even in the small huts they sometimes constructed. My family came from sheep herders I know this. These are just some small facts supporting this. Through my research, I believe it was April 6 as Talmage affirmed in Jesus the Christ. Thanks for the interest in the statement though.”
Friendface Friend: “Someday we will know for sure. It is merely the spirit of the reason[sic] that we celebrate and for that, why not celebrate Christ all year long.:)”
Me: “December in Israel is cold, but rarely is it lower than the 40′s F with highs usually in the 50′s (feel like a weatherman). December actually is, and was, a vital month for shepherds in Israel as that is one of the greenest times of year, due to the rain. By April it starts to go yellow and when May rolls around it becomes very hot and dry. From biblical times until the mid-20th century, shepherds would sign a contract which usually lasted a year, and herded a large flock. Shepherds were out with the flock almost year round, in all weather.
Talmage has a big problem with his April 6,1 BC date because Herod died in 4 BC, making it difficult for him to order a possibly 2 year old or younger child born in 1 BC to be killed.
Also D&C 20:1, where most people (including most likely Talmage) get the date, was not even a revelation to Joseph Smith. It was a flowery intro written by John Whitmer, who wrote it after April 10, 1830 when the section was received.”
11. I learned what a hyper-extended knee while playing basketball leading to a grade 2 LCL sprain feels like. I shall curse the name of “Kenny” forever.
If you didn’t learn these during the week you have homework for the weekend (except the last one).