Some movies are, of course, bad. And you feel they were a general waste of time. Then there are other movies that make you want to bust out the pitchfork and destroy anyone who was at fault. For me “Superman Returns” was just such a movie. I am a huge nerd for Superman stuff and when I heard the movie was going to be made a few years ago, I got excited. The more time passes, the more I loathe the existence of that movie. You will have to pardon me for my harshness and my desire to kick the perpetrators of this monstrosity in their faces.
I have no problem with most of the actors in the movie. Brandon Routh did a decent job and Kevin Spacey was a good Lex. Even Jam from Detroit Rock City didn’t seem out of place as replacement for the legendary Mark McClure. However, Kate Bosworth was a horrible Lois Lane; dare I say even worse than Margot Kidder.
The biggest problems I have with the movie are in the writing. First off, why would Superman go back to look at Krypton when it was destroyed? Did he not believe his Jor-El crystals? If it wasn’t obliterated, then the people on the planet obviously had the technology to get to Earth and he might have seen some of them by now. Also if he had been gone for so long, wouldn’t that kinda blow his cover since, “Oh hey, you and Clark Kent were both gone for exactly 7 years”?
Next up is the scene with the airplane versus the scene with the krypto-continent. It took Superman a long time and a lot of struggling to stop that airplane at the last minute. But, he lifted a whole freaking continent made out of Kryptonite at the end of the movie. So which is it, Superman has a hard time with a 130 ton airplane unimpaired or he can throw a continent made out of his weakness into space? How about some consistency? Of course Superman movies are not known for their consistency when it comes to his powers.
Then we have the twisted love triangle with Kate Bosworth, James Marsden and Superman. This is an overused plot device that just needs to die.
The most atrocious piece is up next with the discovery that Superman, the proverbial boy scout, is now a dead-beat dad. Now if you want to put another sequel on, you have to include an asthmatic Superboy whose parents both appear to have been teenagers when he was born. Superman has gone from someone who respects women and families to someone who owes on his child support. Although, his boy scout image was obliterated in Superman 2 when he took Margot Kidder back to his place, wined and dined her and slipped under the tin foil sheets with her. {shivers with fright} Another example of less respectable behavior is when he went back and used his power against a trucker in a diner purely for revenge. Way to help the humans Kal-El.
Finally the line uttered by Perry White, “Does he still stand for truth, justice, all that stuff?” “All that stuff???” If you are going to use the first two go ahead and have the guts to finish it off, “the American way”. The principles that America is based on are principles that will set the world free from oppressive government, if we can just get back to them and remove our own oppressive government that we have had for the last 100 years or so. Were they afraid of offending terrorists and commies? To exclude the phrase is just dumb, unless Superman really would do something like this:
Superman Returns has made it difficult for anyone to write their way out of the horrible corner these writers have made. But thinking on it more, Superman Returns is really a capstone on what has been a long line of horrible movies. Will anyone ever make a good Superman movie?
UPDATE:
Christopher Nolan really did good things for Batman after it had been dragged through the mud. Maybe he can help Superman out.