Things I Want to See in a Movie

There are a few things that when watching a movie I really hope for. These things never seem to actually happen and I think it must be that the movie writers club has strict rules about going against the old standbys. So here are some solutions to some of the troubles with movies. If somebody rips these off, they owe me big royalties.

Bomb Drama

We’ve all seen it a badrillion times. The bomb is ticking and the wire must be cut. Well, just like me writing a class paper they have to wait for the last second. The tension is butter thick as the wire cutters head for the green, no wait, the red wire. The wire is cut after the clock reaches 00:01. Phew, that was close.

What I want, is to have someone find the bomb in time and defuse it with great ease and I want to see 32:48 left on the clock when it is done.

The Love Bet

Oh great, another dumb chick flick that you are obligated to watch because of your significant other. The boy makes a bet that he can hook up with a certain girl. He gets her to fall for him and oops, guess what, they actually fell in love. Awww isn’t that cute. But wait, she finds out about the dare and Prince Charming is in hot water. And I didn’t even see it coming.

What I want to see is when the girl finds out that he made the bet, she will laugh it off because she loves him. Then she will just tell people the cute little story about “how we met”.

Can’t We All Just Get Along?

When there is an investigation and the FBI or other federal investigators get called in, the local cops always complain about the feds helping out.

What I would like to see is the local law enforcement being appreciative of the help offered by the extra investigators.

That Stupid Song

I just wish chick flick trailers would stop using that “This Will Be” song. You know the one I am talking about. All the clips in the trailer are of people kissing, dancing or falling off of stuff and sometimes all three at the same time. And they all have the common thread of that annoying song. It is true that I only have to put up with it in movie trailers but it seems like there are 3 or 4 every year that do it. The better solution is to not make chick flicks, but I will be satiated with the discontinued use of that annoying song.