I love to make people who work as cashiers laugh. I use a lot of spur of the moment stuff and a few tried-and-true bits to accomplish this. I have been trying for years to get a particular joke to land at the grocery store. I am happy to announce that this morning at around 6:43 success was achieved.
Many people choose to follow trends that will make them look back in a few years and hopefully feel embarrassed that they were so dumb. We need to help such individuals out by pointing out to them that they look stupid. It may seem negative but it is actually done out of love. Plus it’s a joke.
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Apparently we are right in the middle of what some group of people has decided was a good time for TV turn off week. There is also another one in September. Learning this today a great many questions popped into my mind, such as:
We have all seen the sad commercials about hungry children and the struggling people who work hard but just can’t provide, or the commercials for the children who may not even have parents that have the bloated bellies from not eating. It is a real problem and I have a real solution. I think it would be really sweet if this solution was actually implemented but I highly doubt it.
“Eat right and get plenty of exercise and if you do you will be healthy”. That is what the health experts of yesteryear told us. Well today they have slightly modified it. A few years back they came up with a system called the body mass index or BMI (for the busy people among us). The BMI is calculated using a persons weight and height and will inform them if they are underweight, a proper weight, overweight, obese or “about to die”.
Many people choose to follow trends that will make them look back in a few years and hopefully feel embarrassed that they were so dumb. We need to help such individuals out by pointing out to them that they look stupid. It may seem negative but it is actually done out of love. Plus it’s a joke.
I hate awards shows with a passion. It is like watching an entire industry give itself a big pat on the back or pleasure itself in some other way. Plus the fact that one movie or album gets proclaimed the best doesn’t mean anything to me. I usually hate what was picked anyway. I can’t understand why anyone wants to watch awards shows. The bad jokes, the political jabs and all the pretentious movies/music and millionaires; it is just too much for me to handle. Isn’t it award enough to get paid millions of dollars for playing dress up on camera or acting like you are a musician? Do they really have to get a trophy too? Another thing that really really bothers me is when one of the winners gets up and says something like, “If you keep trying, anything is possible.” The fact is that anything is not possible. Let’s crunch some numbers. 7 billion people in the world, most of them would like to win the award that was just given out. They only give it out once a year which means that in the average lifespan of a person they will give out about 75 of them leaving us a few billion short. Clearly it is not possible. Sorry Kevin Garnett you were wrong. “Anything is Possible” is a much easier phrase to say when you have just won something that the other 6.8 billion people in the world will never win. The next time the kid at Taco Bell repeats my order properly I will proclaim, “ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!!!” just so I can proclaim it with joy in my lifetime. But who am I kidding, those screw-ups at Taco Bell won’t ever get it right.
When I was a kid we would visit my grandparents every year or so. They always had a lot of really old toys around for everyone to play with. The hot ticket items that everyone wanted to play with were the scooters. We would ride them down the sidewalk in front of the house or around the sidewalks in the park behind the house. When I was about 13 I realized that I didn’t like playing on the scooters and I took stock of exactly why. I came up with many examples of why I should never play on Grandma’s death scoots again. I also figured out that scooters had been bad luck for me in general, but especially at Grandma’s house.
Many people choose to follow trends that will make them look back in a few years and hopefully feel embarrassed that they were so dumb. We need to help such individuals out by pointing out to them that they look stupid. It may seem negative but it is actually done out of love. Plus it’s a joke.
Well Punxsutawney Phil emerged from his hole after a long night of rioting to celebrate a Steelers Victory in the Super Bowl and despite his blurred vision and killer headache, he saw his shadow, which means there will be six more weeks of winter.
