How-To Prevent “Page Rage”

There is a phenomenon on the internet that is somewhat like Road Rage, that I would like to call “Page Rage”. This occurs when a normally kind and understanding person gets behind the wheel of their computer and turns into a crazy, hate-spewing madman. This can range from complaining about spelling and grammar in a cruel manner, to name-calling and wishing death upon others. Here at Everyday Normal there is no desire to contribute to the hatred and anger in the world. There is way too much of that anyway. To pile on more, one would have to be a pure jerk. Ill will is never meant toward anyone and should never be implied. When anything is read on this site, it should be imagined that your goofiest buddy is saying it to you, in an informal conversation. You can disagree with this buddy and the friendship will still be intact.

I wrote this post and got some bad responses. I thought, “Its not that offensive. I thought I was clear that I wasn’t being hateful. I only wanted to say that I don’t like the ad campaign and that, personally, it didn’t matter for me anyway.” I have learned a few things in the short time since, and I would like to share them.

Are You Talkin’ to Me?

Your internet writing is not even close to the same as a conversation with someone and never can be. I have heard a few different numbers on this, and can safely say that your tone of voice is 30% – 50% of your communication and that body language is 45% – 55% of it. With internet communication these are thrown right out the window. This change of communication dynamic is quite helpful in turning the average internet reader into Joe Pesci from Goodfellas. Things that would be spoken in a haphazard and joking manner quickly become venomous and divisive. I have always liked to write in the same style as my speech and this is just asking for trouble.

No First Drafts

People can’t read minds, they can only read your page. If your page is sloppily thrown together you will say things that you don’t mean. My previous example of a bad post would have had a different title and the first paragraph would be replaced with the sentence, “This is why I don’t like the new ad campaign for the WNBA.” That first paragraph was just buddy banter and silliness that no one who doesn’t know me will ever get. The second paragraph was pretty much spot on and I wouldn’t really change anything. The final two paragraphs would have emphasized that those were my personal feelings and I would have removed a couple of buddy banter sentences. I would have also thought it through more and added something about how I think they could spend their money in better ways than prime commercial spots that I don’t think will help too much. And how I feel that they would have more success if they would operate more like small, grassroots, local organizations like minor league baseball. Then it could grow from there, which is how most other sports leagues have done it. Posting a rough draft will almost always guarantee that you will be misunderstood.

Clarify Clarify Clarify

Since the communication dynamic has been changed, you must make every point painfully clear. When speaking to someone and something is not understood people might ask, “Do I have to spell it out for you?” On the internet you do have to spell it out. This might even make your posts painful to read at times since you may be over-explaining. But if you don’t want to get stabbed by Tommy DeVito you need to clarify everything. [Buddy Banter] Simply marking something as “Opinion” and joking around is not enough in this world of infallible beings who can’t wait to jump on your case about something you didn’t even mean. [End Banter]

Use Qualifiers, In My Opinion

Qualifiers make it much more clear that what you are saying is not the gospel truth and that it may even be an opinion. In my personal and possibly incorrect view, these can make it more clear that you do not believe yourself to be the final and supreme authority on a given matter. You should use these like you were running for public office, so as to not upset the average information superhighway motorist.

[Buddy Banter]

Mean People are Real

With all of these precautions you still must understand that many people already are that rude and reprehensible character, before they get in the driver seat of their computer. For these people the most well thought out and carefully worded communication will have no positive effect. If they hold a differing view point they will explode on you no matter what. Many times it can be as though the person did not even read what you put onto a blog or message board. Reading is nothing without comprehension and some people will not comprehend a word you may write and then pour out their sublimely righteous wrath upon you. There is nothing you can do for these situations besides giving them a link to go where stupid people gather. [End Buddy Time] Relax it’s a joke.

Maybe these are no-brainers to some people, but they are newly realized for me. I think if anyone will stick to these rules they should be able to still project the completely harmless and “non-serious-as-a-heart-attack” attitude that they have when they speak. This is just another way of defusing the “everybody’s out to get me” vibe that emanates from much of the internet and annoys so many. [Buddy Banter] This is a safe space. No one will hurt you here. [End Banter]