Don’t buy another phone with qwerty keys. Just trying to call 1-800-flowers is a huge pain.
How to Make Money With a Blog (The Truth)
There are millions of blogs out there on “the internets”. There are hundreds of ways that you can supposedly make money with your blog. A search on making money with a blog returns an impossible amount of articles and information.
In regard to this site, I have thought things like:
“This is good and funny. Lots of people will pop by and check it out”
But I was very very wrong. After some thought about it I have connected some dots that have been right in front of my face the whole time. Isn’t it strange that every site that I visited while researching making money with a blog, seemed to be a blog about blogs. I never figured out that normal people who like silly goofy junk will just go to big name funny sites that have money to advertise and get their name out there and not search far and wide for it. The people who are looking up new blogs are looking at computer related materials. They are people who are around their computers a lot. Why? Because they are the poor suckers like myself who want to know how to make some extra cash with a blog.
The Secret Truth
To make money with a blog you must start with one of two things. First you must write about how to make money with blogs. Blogs about blogs are extremely popular and the suckers will lap up whatever you are throwing out there. Blogs about blogs are also very redundant and pointless so be ready to bore yourself. (That is my opinion)
Second, you must write tons of lists about computer products and services. “Top 10 free “, “20 ways to get Vista to ” etc. This type of writing is more useful and can be more entertaining as well. The main thing to remember when using either of these methods is that you are writing for computer nerds because everyone else on the web is either barely on the internet or they are looking for salacious material.
You may say to yourself, “No I will get all my friends to come check it out all the time.” Well if your friends are all as computer nerdy as you are, then you’re in luck, as long as you have thousands of friends. Otherwise, you will ask your friends to check out your sweet material and send everyone else by, and they will visit twice and never tell anyone. It’s a hard lesson, but your friends suck, and you cannot rely on word of mouth for anything. The only thing that will help you is to write about nerd stuff and hope that nerds digg it.
Contest Entry
I saw an ad on TV the other day for a Captain Morgan Pose contest. This is my entry. I think it is a real winner. “He’s got a little Captain in him”
Too bad the prize is going to a party with a bunch of idiots.
Best Name Ever
A couple of years back I went to my brothers high school graduation. I was going to just catch the early part of the alphabet and go home after seeing my brother graduate. My plan was interrupted when I perused the program and saw the most wonderful name I have ever beheld. It was located in the “L” section. I thought to myself, “There is no way that this is real. No one would do something this cool.” As we got closer to the “L’s”, I grew ever more excited. And then, it happened. That’s right, I watched as “First Middle Last” received a high school diploma. I count myself lucky to have been a witness to such a fine moment in name history.
Best Name Ever
A couple of years back I went to my brothers high school graduation. I was going to just catch the early part of the alphabet and go home after seeing my brother graduate. My plan was interrupted when I perused the program and saw the most wonderful name I have ever beheld. It was located in the “L” section. I thought to myself, “There is no way that this is real. No one would do something this cool.” As we got closer to the “L’s”, I grew ever more excited. And then, it happened. That’s right, I watched as “First Middle Last” received a high school diploma. I count myself lucky to have been a witness to such a fine moment in name history.
Worst Talk Show Guests
Every now and then I get the hankering for some mindless celebrity chat. I, of course, turn to late night talk shows. Most of the interviews are very contrived and standard issue boring. But every once in a while someone will step it up and make me want to watch infomercials or even read a book.
Continue reading “Worst Talk Show Guests”Worst Talk Show Guests
Every now and then I get the hankering for some mindless celebrity chat. I, of course, turn to late night talk shows. Most of the interviews are very contrived and standard issue boring. But every once in a while someone will step it up and make me want to watch infomercials or even read a book.
Don’t misunderstand me with this list I do not want anything bad to happen to those on this list. I simply do not like them as talk show guests.
Howard Stern
Anytime he is going to be on just go ahead and turn off the TV. He will come out and try to “push the envelope” or do something “edgy” which will just be stupid and annoying.
Howard: “Alright Conan, tonight I want to do my interview while I am in a bathroom stall pinching a loaf. Just get a camera and a mic in there and we are set.”
He is a prime example of not being creative and just trying to do things to get attention.
Don Rickles
Not only is his brand of comedy annoying but just watching him try to converse with people is painful. He is always too busy trying to think of how to insult someone to be funny.
Don: “Hey Jay, guess what.”
Jay: “What Don?”
Don: “You have a big chin. Doesn’t he have a big chin folks? Hahahahahahahahahahaha”
That joke was fantastic.
Dana Carvey
We all pretty much know that the interviews are completely rigged and set up to allow a person to seem more entertaining than they are. But it seems so much worse with this guy. It’s like he sat down with Mr. Letterman beforehand and told him to ask completely random questions at given times, with no clear segue, so he could appear to be spontaneously hilarious.
Dana: “OK Dave, after we talk about kids I want you to ask me about power buttons.”
Dave: “Power buttons?”
Dana: “Yeah power buttons, then I will do a little dance after I make a clever quip about power buttons.”
Animal Guests
Brutal. These zookeepers and other people that bring animals for the show are just boring and need to stop. “Oh, but it is so funny when the monkey climbs on Dave’s face.” Yeah we’ve seen it a billion times cause you never know what the animals are going to do. Woo Hoo, entertainment.
Children
Generally kids and child actors are just as bad as the animal segments. They are either very shy and don’t do or say much or they display the various early signs of whatever psychosis they are doomed to have later in life.
Elijah Wood
He is on my list for the sole reason that once I watched him tell Jay Leno that he once had breakfast in Italy, lunch in England and dinner in the USA. The whole story took up his entire segment and was one of the most pointless moments in celebrity banter history.
Robin Williams
A Robin Williams segment is 20 times more painful than a Dana Carvey segment because there is no plan, which means there is no planned end in sight. Robin will just come out and start spouting things in random accents. The interview will include a minimum of 15 special little dances and 5 impromptu skits.
Real Advice
This is the new diet trend that’s not sweeping the nation. So far it has helped me to lose about 30 pounds this year and save money, which I can now throw away on gasoline.
Extremely Basic Training
I got an email from a friend entitled “Why Iraq is Taking So Long” that had this video attached. Hopefully these fellas can now look back on this video and laugh with us. I can’t help but crack up when I watch this. Just pick one person and concentrate on them, then pick another and watch it again.
Continue reading “Extremely Basic Training”Extremely Basic Training
I got an email from a friend entitled “Why Iraq is Taking So Long” that had this video attached. Hopefully these fellas can now look back on this video and laugh with us. I can’t help but crack up when I watch this. Just pick one person and concentrate on them, then pick another and watch it again.