Gallon Challenge

Rule # 1: Drink a gallon of milk in a half an hour.
Rule # 2: Keep it down for another half hour.

If you do a google search on the gallon challenge all you will find is people saying that it can’t be done.  They will say that the human stomach cannot hold a gallon of fluid and that someone who tries will just throw it up.  You may also find a video or two of somebody barfing up a good portion of a gallon of milk.

I must inform you now, that it is possible.  I myself have done it successfully.  I did it on March 16th 1999.  I had three witnesses to this event and they signed my empty milk jug which had once contained whole milk.  I will share with you now my secrets of completing the challenge.

Size

If you want to do the challenge successfully you must be larger than the average human or find some way to make your stomach larger than the average human’s.  For me, I was 6 ft. 5 inches and weighed 280 lbs when I did it.  That came in handy.

Make Room

The night before I did it, I ate an entire “Big New Yorker” pizza from Pizza Hut.  This stretched out the old stomach or at least gave me the placebo effect of thinking that I stretched my stomach.  The day that I did it I didn’t eat anything until I was drinking that gallon, that way I was good and thirsty and my stomach had plenty of space to expand.

Absorb

I ate three Krispy Kreme donuts while I was drinking the gallon.  I believe that the donuts helped hold down some milk and maybe there is some way that sugar helped me to process stuff faster. I will have to ask a doctor about it sometime.

Timing

You have a whole half hour to drink it, so don’t be a hero.  I like to get a good amount in right at first and let it start processing.  I got 3/4 of the gallon down within a couple of minutes.  I took the other 28 minutes or so to get the last 1/4 of a gallon down.

I had the three witnesses sign the milk jug and I drew a picture of a cow on it and wrote, “Voy a tener que mear en la manana” on the side.  After drinking a whole gallon of milk I was very very cold and had to try to warm up.  Then in the middle of the night I got up to pee and my pee looked like skim milk.  I was excited to have done it with three witnesses because I had done it once before but had no witnesses.  The milk jug was later thrown away by some jerk.  The three witnesses live on though.  I have since become more concerned with my health and I weigh less than I did then so I do not know if I could do it again.  Rest assured, if I do it again I will make a video and you will witness it too.