I must put this up as it is one of my favorite moments from Black Adder. It is filled with clever little bits all throughout. So here it is, enjoy:
The Joke Has Finally Landed!!!
I love to make people who work as cashiers laugh. I use a lot of spur of the moment stuff and a few tried-and-true bits to accomplish this. I have been trying for years to get a particular joke to land at the grocery store. I am happy to announce that this morning at around 6:43 success was achieved.
Surprised by 9/11 Truthers
I saw something a couple of months back and instantly thought that it would be more fuel to the 9/11 truth movement and their fun conspiracy theories that the U.S. government killed 3,000 Americans. Imagine my surprise when about 3 months later I have yet to see anything come out of it. At this point I will point out what it was. I just ask that you remember that I do not believe that the towers were imploded by government agencies and I believe that it was terrorists and heat that brought the buildings down.
Knowing how I feel, watch this:
In Bush’s description of watching 9/11 events unfold he says:
“…and shortly thereafter I was…started seeing images of the…aaah…of the building being….uh…you know…starting to crumble”
What I am shocked at is that the 9/11 truthers didn’t grab onto the word “being” and say that Bush was saying that the buildings were being demolished but caught himself mid-sentence.
I just thought I would bring it to people’s attention because it has been bothering me that no one has been making this claim. Once again, I don’t see how the thousands of people could have not noticed the CIA wiring the two towers for implosion in the months before 9/11 and find those conspiracies to be easily debunked and dismissed.
Lots of Bombs in the Air
When you are singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl make sure you know the words. I think we all know how it feels to botch it in front of millions of viewers. Well as it turns out, Christina Aguilera is not dead and she was the one to sing the national anthem at the Super Bowl this year.
For those of you that don’t know the anthem by heart listen for the line “o’er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming”. (0:51 in the video)
Maybe you will find this small mess up as funny as I do after you watch what I instantly thought of when I heard her.
Good ol’ Nielsen.
Superhero Week Pt. 5: Superheroes of My Own Inventing
Ok, yesterday I said we were going over the best, but I was wrong. Now we will look at the best. Don’t let the title mislead you, I didn’t come up with all of these by myself. A couple of them were invented by and with friends quite a few years ago.
Lampshademan
Once again as a bored young man grabbed a lampshade, a trenchcoat and a golf club and made up a superhero. Lampshademan. Bad guys can never find him when he stands in a corner or next to a couch. Apparently it must have either been a very popular thing to mimic or it is just so obvious and easy to come up with, because there are all kinds of fools posing as Lampshademan throughout the internets.
Bucketman/Todd Pail
Todd Pail was in a horrible accident on a school trip, which fused a bucket to his head and gave him the ability to throw bucket lids at evildoers. That’s when he became Bucketman. Bucketman is, of course, in alliance with Lampshademan which might have to change since Lampshademan has become so overdone and lame. This one was dreamed up and modeled after my friend Brandon, who previously did some posts here and I consider him one of the funniest people I know. He would eat buckets of ice cream and then put them on his head while holding the lid as a weapon
Pillowhead
Originally wore his underwear on the outside but cleaned up his act for the kids. You could punch pillow head all you want and he would just lay back in comfort. Until, of course, his pillow shifted and you actually began to hit his face. He is also in alliance with Lampshademan and Bucketman.
Milkjug
This superhero is fortified with vitamin justice and calcium. When creating this superhero we tried to make a Milkjug mask but it was really sharp around the edges and would have mutilated your face to wear it around. Milkjug rounds out the crime fighting quartet with the aforementioned heroes.
Mansquatch
Since Lampshademan is kinda lame I came up with this one a few years ago. Instead of putting something on his head Mansquatch just takes off his shirt and shoes to transform into a crime fighting juggernaut. At times he can get cold or be embarrassed if he fights crime at a formal event, but it is worth it. He has also had issues fighting crime at 7/11s and fast food joints. He wants to be in alliance with the others but has not had the chance to communicate with them in years.
Well there you have them, some heroes. Hopefully Superhero week has been as magical for you as it has been for me. If you have made up your own superheroes or anything like that, let me know about it below.
Superhero Week Pt. 4: Superman
We already looked at the worst Superhero ever earlier this week. Now let’s go over the best. That’s right, Superman.
Superhero Week Pt. 3: Real Super-Powered People
Here are some people that have crazy abilities and/or are just crazy or great people.
Continue reading “Superhero Week Pt. 3: Real Super-Powered People”
Superhero Week Pt. 2: Worst Superhero Ever
I was watching a movie the other day when it came to mind that the worst superhero ever would have to be Storm from the X-Men. After I lay it out for you I think you will have to agree wholeheartedly with me.
Reason 1 – Controlling Weather is Just Kinda Lame
The only part of controlling the weather that would be handy when fighting evil-doers is the ability to control lightning. Everything else is kind of a waste. “Hey Storm, make the bad guys get frost bite.” “Oooh, pelt them with hail.” “Mess up their hairdos with a blast of wind.” All the bad guys have to do is find some shelter and her power is rendered useless.
Reason 2 – It Takes Forever
When someone wants her to clear out some fog or trigger some morning dew for enemies to slip on, she always takes a couple of steps forward, like it matters where she stands, then holds her arms out to the side and stares at the sky. Her eyes then shade over with white and the clouds in the sky shift. The whole time the bad guys just watch her as she stands there. If any of these villains had any sense they would shoot her while she is out there with her arms spread for 5 minutes summoning their meteorological demise.
Reason 3 – Not a Big Berry Fan
It doesn’t have much to do with the powers of the character but I just don’t really like Halle Berry. There are a whole host of better people that could have been Storm in the X-Men movies. To name a few, we have Oprah, Michelle Obama, Rudy Huxtable and Jim Gaffigan. Well I guess I only have actively positive feelings for Rudy and Jim so strike the first two from the record, but retain how funny it would be to watch Oprah’s eyes glaze over and see her spin around and slap bad guys.
So there you have it. It may still be up for debate but as of right now, the worst superhero ever is Storm.