The Joke Has Finally Landed!!!

I love to make people who work as cashiers laugh. I use a lot of spur of the moment stuff and a few tried-and-true bits to accomplish this. I have been trying for years to get a particular joke to land at the grocery store. I am happy to announce that this morning at around 6:43 success was achieved.

This specific bit has been tried and failed many, many times as I am a big milk drinker. The joke goes something like this:

{Customer takes milk to cashier at register}
{Cashier scans milk}

CASHIER: Do you want this milk in bags?
CUSTOMER: Nah, just leave it in the jugs.

{Short pause}
{Everyone laughs hysterically}
{Roll credits}

For the past few years every time I have been asked if I wanted my milk in bags I have answered with a comical tone, “Nah, just leave it in the jugs” and then have been disappointed and heard crickets whistling. I then collect my grocery items and walk away in shame.

I have kept trying even though it has usually been a big downer. This morning I needed to get some milk and had no expectations for anything. As the cashier grabbed the milk and scanned it the comedy that followed was beyond my wildest dreams:

{Customer takes milk to cashier at register}
{Cashier scans milk}

CASHIER: Do you want this milk in bags?
CUSTOMER: Nah, just leave it in the jugs.

{Short pause}
{Everyone laughs hysterically}

CASHIER: (Still laughing) No one ever wants it in bags. I guess it would slosh around too much.
CUSTOMER: I would definitely spill.
CASHIER: You’re right, the bags all have holes anyway!!!
CUSTOMER: (Imaginary questioning tone) “Why didn’t I keep the jugs?!?!?”

{Everyone laughs more hysterically}
{Customer takes grocery items and walks away with big smile}
{Roll credits}

All the rejection has been totally worth it. It really is the simple things that make life worth living. Now get out there and make the cashiers of the world laugh.