5 Things to Do if You Find Out You’re Dying

(Edit)After writing this I found this article here. So now I must post it today.(End Edit)

Everyone has to check out sometime. Some people get the rare warning before the reaper visits. Usually, he just does the “pop-in”. If this happens to you there are a few things that you need to make sure you do to finish off this life and prepare for the next.

5. Personal To-Do list

If you have been wanting to catch a monster truck rally before you died, but have never gotten around to it, now is probably the time to get that done.  This item is the most common thing for people to break out if they find out they are dying soon.  Bungee jumping, hang gliding and all sorts of things people would not normally do but decide to try before they die.  You should do these before you get too close to your expiration date, as I am sure the guy who drags the floating seat behind his boat doesn’t want to have to cut your dead body out of his harness.

4. Get Organized

If you had written in your journal more often you wouldn’t have to scramble at the end to find a way for future generations to know what kind of person you were.  Make sure you know where you are going to be buried and that the arrangements are in place.  You could even watch as they make your headstone.  Just try to resist having them put your favorite Barry Manilow lyrics on there. Getting things right will make sure that your family isn’t mad at you for making them clean up your mess. After all, since you never made it as a movie star or musician, (like the vast majority of us), no one but your family really cares that you are dying. And they are the only ones who will remember you in any way,

3. Find Your Roots

Since you will soon be hanging out with them, you might as well learn the names of your grandparents, great grandparents and others who have gone on before you.  You may even take a trip to your family’s mother land.  But, if you’re poor like me, you can just settle for a geography book or a wikipedia page.  While your family is blubbering like a bunch of depressed babies on Earth, you are going to be partying it up with the thousands of people who have been rooting for you your whole life.  You don’t want to create an awkward moment when you keep calling Uncle Carl, “Bill”.

2. Duh, Church

Your old family members are not the only ones waiting for you to kick the bucket that you should get acquainted with.  There is also the Being that gave you your entire existence.  Since you should have been doing good things your whole time anyway, you might want to come in once you have been frightened by the thought of dying.  You should go apologize to the sweet old man you beat up in traffic last week and since the binge drinking has destroyed your liver and caused you to be in this whole dying mess, you may want to drop that too.  If you are an atheist, then just do whatever you want in the place of this one.  Then you can have a pleasant surprise waiting for you.

1. The Hospital

This one was inspired by the “100 Things to Do Before You Die”. My number one thing to do before I die is to go to the hospital and see if I can stop the death. It was a Smart Alec comment but makes sense. If you already know you are going to die it’s a good place to go to die, since they have a morgue right there in the basement.  There is also an unusually high concentration of doctors hanging around hospitals and they may be able to help you be around for a bit longer.  If you are excited to see your dead relatives then you can ignore this one altogether.

Dying doesn’t have to be as scary as we make it out to be.  Most of us should think about doing these things to be ready on a regular basis, since we can go at any minute.  But if you do find yourself in the situation of having a literal deadline, this list may come in handy.  And remember, when you get down to the last minute it won’t be like in the movies when the doctor comes and tells you he switched up the lab results.  You will die, so be ready.