My sister used to work for Papa Johns Pizza and when there would be local events like on site radio shows Papa Johns would bring some free pizza out to promote themselves. Part of the promotion would often be that my brother would dress up as ‘Mr. Slice’ which actually was just a big slice of pizza. As I watched this video it made me wish that I had some footage of him in the suit doing something very dumb or hilarious but I don’t. But you could imagine if I did.
Quick Birth
This magician could make a killing by just charging a few hundred bucks per delivery. The more I watch the more I laugh.
Back in the Saddle (And a Cool Picture)
I moved last weekend and today was the day I got internet at the new place. Sorry for the blank week.
Just to say I have put something up every week I will post a sweet picture.
The Things I Would Do……
……If I had a guarantee that I wouldn’t snap my neck.
Another Childhood TV Show Turned Into a Movie
There’s Nothing Like a Funny String of Comments
Most of the time reading people’s comments on very large sites frequented by people you don’t know is a complete waste of time. But the other day, the old ball-and-chain was just perusing the internets and she found a pretty worthless recipe for heating up ham by that annoying, peppy lady Rachel Ray. The recipe calls for heating up your ham in some oil and that was it.
The comments on the recipe were quite entertaining to me and I thought they were worth a look.
Rise of the Robots Because of Bad Programming
I watched another horrible movie last night. If you wanted to see Eagle Eye this is my spoiler alert, the movie was crappy. The movie involved yet another computer taking over things. I am very tired of the old plot device of making a computer take control of the humans and now I am going to make perhaps the nerdiest post I have ever made.
All the computers in these movies had to be programmed by someone and I got a sneak peak at some of the source code. The first one is Eagle Eye, see if you can guess the others. I will reveal the answers in the comments tomorrow:
Scenario #1:
if(human_action != computer_recommendation){
goto plan_to_destroy_national_leadership;
plan_to_promote_world_peace:
plan_to_destroy_national_leadership:
// COMMENTED OUT send_power_surge_through_Presidents_shaver_and kill_him(“President”);
// COMMENTED OUT infect_the_GPS_navigation_for_all_cabinet_members_so_they_drive_off_cliffs(“Garmin”);
/*COMMENT – I decided to comment out the above and use the less direct approach below since we now have the quad core processors that can handle the extra unnecessary actions – END COMMENT */
make_brother_of_computer_specialist_remove_the_worthless_biometric_lock_from_computer(“Holes Kid”);
have_mother_of_band_student_wear_explosive_necklace_that_will_be_triggered_by_trumpet(“Some lady with weird looking kid”);
}
Scenario #2:
if(leading_star == “Ferris Bueller Guy”){
threaten_nuclear_war_with_another_country(“USSR”);
if(game == “Tic Tac Toe”){
run_mock_scenario_of_thermonuclear_war_then_make_deep_statement_about_war_having_no_winners();
offer_to_play_a_game_of_chess_and_make_humans_laugh_it_off();
}
}
Scenario #3:
if(robot_mood == “Ready to enslave humans”){
overtake_humans_and_use_them_as_batteries();
if(human_need == “Mind stimulation to live”){
create_intricate_virtual_world_for_people_to_live_in(“Ted from ‘Bill and Ted'”);
if(human_escape_to_underground_rave_parties == True){
Destroy(“Humans”);
}
}
}
Scenario #4:
if(skynet == “Online”){
Destroy(“Humans”);
if(human_encountered == “John Connor”){
send_robot_with_bad_accent_back_in_time_to_kill_his_mother_
but_do_it_at_a_point_in_time_when_she_is_old_enough_to_defend_herself_and_
have_relations_with_the_human_sent_back_to_save_her_thus_causing_the_birth_of_John_Connor();
}
}
Scenario #5:
if(lead_actor == “Fresh Prince”){
// COMMENTED OUT – Law_1 = “Never hurt, kill or enslave humans”;
/*COMMENT – I removed the above law and made a more vague first law to make it more exciting for us humans when robots figure out loopholes in logic – END COMMENT */
Law_1 = “A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.”;
Law_2 = “A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.”;
Law_3 = “A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or the Second Law.”;
if(robot_logic == “Law 1 means I can enslave humans”){
trap_humans_in_their_homes_and_kill_any_that_try_to_stop_evil_plot(“Holes Kid”);
if(genius_scientist_creation == “Robot with conscience”){
try_in_vain_to_continue_evil_plot_while_the_fresh_prince_destroys_system();
}
}
}
Well there you have them. If only they had better quality assurance at the companies that programmed the machines. I really must say that I am highly in favor of getting rid of the ‘Destroy’ function if “Humans” can be passed in.
Cleveland
I have seen a couple of videos about Cleveland and I tell you it looks like a great town.
What You Will Need When You Buy a Home
I graduated college at a wonderful time, right into a recession. I decided to not let Whitey get me down and go ahead and buy a house. I have been waiting for a couple of months now since I agreed to buy a place and it is driving me insane. I decided I would make a list of all the things I have needed so far and I can’t imagine what else there could possibly be.
Things You Provide
2 years worth of W-2 forms
2 months of paystubs
Previous year tax return
Good credit
List of debts and payment schedules
Note stating that a spouse did not work in a previous year
Contact info for insurer of home
Signed REPC
A year of canceled rent checks
A Ton of Patience
Things the Lender Provides
A signed good faith estimate
A loan application
A patriot act property form
An employment verification form
Things the seller provides
Certificate of occupancy
1 yr warranty form (if new)
Termite guarantee form or inspection
I think that is everything unless they pull out the surprise rectal exam or they want some DNA samples. I wonder what it would have been like if I had tried for a house a couple of years ago when they were giving them out to every hobo with half a pulse. If I think of anything else I will edit it in. If you are going to buy a house just get all of these things ready ASAP in case they are needed. I gathered everything on this list as it has been requested over the last two months. It would have been much easier to know before hand and just turn it all in.
TV Turn Off Week
Apparently we are right in the middle of what some group of people has decided was a good time for TV turn off week. There is also another one in September. Learning this today a great many questions popped into my mind, such as:
- Who is deciding when to do this?
- Can we take a vote as to when it should be?
- Did they pick the beginning week of the NBA playoffs for any particular reason?
- Did they pick the start of football season for the other week for any certain reason?
- Are they aware that all summer long there is only baseball, Nascar and golf which actually make it an extremely pleasant experience to turn off your TV?
Last summer I had a TV detox which was pretty nice until I wanted to watch the Olympics and my reception was bad because I canceled cable. I think a TV turnoff week is a good idea but it should be on your own time schedule when there are no playoffs. And go ahead and do more than one or two weeks per year. I think it is a great idea not for environmental reasons but for mental reasons. Seriously though not during the playoffs.