Author: Dale

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Public Service Announcement

As a public service I will proclaim another very important rule for life.

When it comes to money, if it sounds to good to be true, it is.

I have seen many people get suckered in by different schemes. “Oh I am getting a return at a huge interest rate for this thing I gave money to.” they’ll say. Or they try the secret shopper scam. Signing up for some company that will help you make cash after you buy a video tape or a membership from them is another one.

I once called to apply for a job that said I would be working retail for a sporting goods company. They scheduled me for an interview and I went in even though the whole thing seemed fishy. When I got there I found that 12 other people had been scheduled for an interview at the exact same time in the same room as me. A guy in a suit came into the room and began to cut through a boot with a knife. Then he started telling us all how great selling knives would be. Technically they had hunting knives, so it was sporting goods but it was not a real job. I saw that some of the people around me seemed to be getting excited about setting their own schedules and selling knives. I could not find that same excitement. When the guy stated how much money you could make selling knives after purchasing a video on how to set appointments I said, “Yeah right” to the people sitting next to me. I would throw out the random “Psshhht” or “Oh sure!!!” at a fairly low volume as he was speaking. Then I just got a really annoyed look on my face and folded my arms, shifting in my chair for a couple of minutes. The boot cutter then said, “Excuse me. Sir will you come outside with me?” I got up and went out. The guy then said, “I am guessing that you don’t really want to do this.” I said “Nope” then turned around and hurried off.

Don’t get scammed into doing something like what just happened to my brother, which also happened to this guy. Jobs pay you, not the other way around.

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Legal Discrimination

Treating people differently based on race, sex, religion or any other distinguishing characteristic is frowned upon by our society. In many cases it is actually illegal. With this in mind I would like to draw your attention to a blatant and unfair discrimination that is widely accepted.

As a 16 year old boy my mother threatened me with having to pay for my own car insurance. I called up a company looking for a quote and they told me that to be insured on an 8 year old Honda hatchback I would have to pay $128 a month. I talked to a 27 year old man that I knew who had a Fiero made in the same year as the Honda. He said he paid $16 a month for his insurance. I was stunned. I asked many people why I would be required to pay so much. The answer always came back that it was because I was male and under the age of 25. I hadn’t had an accident and had been a safe driver. The vast majority of accidents that I have seen or heard of have involved young girls in their teens or 20’s, but I was told that males under 25 had the highest number of accidents. That could still be true, but most of my experience has been otherwise. The real point is, what if insurance companies said, “Oh you’re Asian or Jewish or black and you have the highest chance of being in an accident so we will charge you more.” (I am not saying Asians, Jews or black people are bad drivers, they are just random examples.) That would not be a policy for very long if they tried it. So why can they get away with saying that males under 25 must pay more. It is discrimination and it is wrong. I could not control the fact that I was born a male and that I was born in a certain year. If I had caused an accident I could see my rate going up but not just for being a young man. I can also see the fact that they can choose to charge whatever they want as it is their business, but I still don’t like it.

Well, I don’t really have much to complain about as I really didn’t pay for insurance much before I was 25. My name is the same as my fathers so I was always listed on the insurance and I just didn’t have any on my red Cherokee for a few years which saved me a ton of cash. Now that I have a brand new Jeep I pay around $75 a month for two people to have full coverage. It is still a waste of money, as most insurance is, but it is a much better value for the waste.

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Pictures

You know how I like pictures of things that just seem a little off. Here are a couple more.

I keep picking on Chinese food establishments, but it’s because they give me so much ammo.

To me it looks like Grimace isn’t “Lovin it”

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I Don’t Golf Anymore

I used to like to go golfing every now and then, but now, for me, it has lost its luster and any enjoyment that I may have once had is gone. This desire to hit a ball and then walk in the direction that it went didn’t slowly wither away, but rather was killed inside of me one day as I was starting a round with a friend. Come along and I will tell you the tale.

I wasn’t an extremely frequent golfer and as such, I did not see any real reason to purchase my own set of clubs. It would have been nice to have clubs that would work better for someone with a 6 foot 7 inch frame but I thought that borrowing a set of clubs from my friend was fine. He had one driver that was longer than the others which was my weapon of choice when whacking balls in various directions. For some reason, that I will not tell now, his long driver was missing on the day in question when I began this round with another friend.

I watched my friend tee off with great ease and then his brother-in-law, who came along with us, hit a good ball as well. I set up my ball and chose the longest driver that my friend had remaining in his bag when I borrowed it. I squared up and got in my usual not-so-confident stance. I felt like I was really bending over to reach the ball though. I reared back and swung a mighty swing. WHIFF!!! Nothing but air. Ouch, that’s embarrassing.

Oh well, it happens sometimes. I bent my knees a little more to really get down there and lined up for another shot. As I did this, two sweet old ladies pulled up behind us in their golf cart. I pulled back for my redemption shot and let her rip. I could have sworn that the ball went flying for about a mile, but when I looked down at my feet, there it was.

My friend and his brother-in-law had a good little laugh at that one and I think I heard one of the old ladies chuckle a little. At this moment I swore that I would not strike out. I tried to realign my chakra and calm down for a good solid hit. I swung again and missed.

Both of the old ladies laughed out loud at this miss which just encouraged my friend’s laughter more. After this I gave up on good form and control over where the ball goes. I decided, it was better to go after a stray ball than to look the fool again. I went down for a sloppy fourth swing and missed completely.

The laughter from the third miss had not died down yet and so only continued and grew louder with this fourth. I grew more frantic. I had to get that ball out of there so I could get away from these once sweet old ladies and away from the evil laughter.

With my heart rate raised and all my confidence crushed and murdered, I took an even more sloppy and hurried swing. It should be no surprise that I missed again a fifth time. Was I going to strike out twice? Through the roaring laughter I took a one armed swing which was once again errant.

I had struck out, not only once, but twice. For my seventh try I decided to settle down and maybe get a real hit in, but to no avail. Both of the old ladies had fallen out of their cart and were rolling on the ground with tears pouring from their eyes (At least I felt like they had.) I am certain that my friend and his brother-in-law really did have tears from laughing. It felt like I was at Def Comedy Jam but there were no comedians.

This was it, my eighth try. I was determined to not fail again. When you put your mind and will to it you can do anything. I pulled back and pushed all of the scorn and shame that I had felt down my arms to the end of the short club I was using. It swung like a wrecking ball towards a gigantic building that could not be missed. I was swinging for every starving child in the world, every abused woman and anyone who had ever been trodden down in this life. There was a special power in this swing that was going to solve all the world’s problems when it hit that little dimpled representation of all that is evil in this world. As you can tell, by the fact that you still have problems, I missed. I picked up the ball, threw it as far as I could and quickly walked away from the howling laughter and searing cackles.

I don’t golf anymore.

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The Once Mighty Bears

I can’t decide if watching a bear rip something to shreds or watching him beg tourists by waving is better. I think a combination of the two would be really cool.

Imagine hiking through the woods and going around the bend in a trail to find a bear waving at you.  You think “Well, this bear seems friendly.” Then the bear offers his massive paw for a handshake thus leading you to think, “Wow!! This bear knows the secret human handshake.  He’s got to be trustworthy.” Then you go in to introduce yourself and WHAM!! He tears you to pieces.

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Jumping Phase

As someone who was once a young boy I must say I am guilty as charged in this article.

It was an exciting time in life. Everything in the world was up. I had discovered that I could jump and actually touch things located higher than my usual reach. I must also bring attention to the fact that this stage also included, for me, the desire to brace my body between two walls in hallways and climb upward. This joyful and wondrous time came quickly to a close when I one day hit my head on the ceiling fan.

I saw two of my brothers fighting in the living room on the other side of the coffee table. In an effort to get to the other side of the table as quickly as possible to break up the fight, I jumped over the table which was below the fan. The fan was on and spinning at top speed and after my forehead hit the blade I fell to the ground hitting my head on the corner of the coffee table on the way down. This did break up the fight as my brothers were startled by all the ruckus and then began to laugh at me.

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Company Policies #4 and 5

More from my time at CD Warehouse:

The next company policy was the “Hot Chick Discount”. When a good looking lady wandered into the store we found it necessary to insure that there would be a return visit. Hence there was a special discount. As long as we were still making money on the transaction we could discount away. Since the CD’s were used, and only cost us three or four dollars these ladies were getting a sweet deal. Now John demonstrated what not to do one day when his true love came into the store. Her name was Skylie and he was smitten. He gave her about sixty dollars in CD’s and only charged her two dollars. Then he didn’t even cash the check she wrote because it smelled like her. He was in love. She could bash his face in with a 2X4 and he would just be concerned that she might get slivers.

Another policy that my friend, Rob, and I came up with was the concept of $0. When people would bring in a big stack of CD’s to sell us we would tally up what we would pay and tell them the total. What we didn’t tell them is that we were taking some of the CD’s for free. Many of these CD’s ended up in the “Crap Bin” and then made it over to Hastings. If people ever wanted to know the price per CD we would act like we made a mistake and then actually pay them for the $0 CD’s. Most people didn’t care and didn’t want an itemized receipt so we drastically reduced what our inventory cost.

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10 Cents

For videos that I make and put up on here I use revver which will pay for views on your videos. I just crossed the 10 cent barrier and to celebrate I am doing my first re-post of sorts. These are all my videos. Go ahead and pick your favorite and leave a comment about which one it is.