Author: Dale

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Obama in Oiho

Some time ago the smartest president ever was campaigning in Ohio and misspelled the name of the state with three other geniuses. In progressive political fashion I have decided to not let this slide as a mere momentary mistake by someone but I will seize upon it and try to make it a serious issue that defines the president and his level of intelligence (Remember Dan Quayle).

It appears that I am not the only one to not let this go. The good people of Ohio have either attempted to make the president feel better or are mocking him right to his face by changing the spelling of the state’s name at his campaign rallies.

In addition to the aforementioned explanation it may also be possible that Oiho is a different state than Ohio which may help us to get to the number mentioned in this video which we will also hold onto mercilessly rather than attribute to a momentary lapse:

Update: In searching for more info on the land of Oiho I found this great cartoon from Michael Ramirez –

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How Worthless is the U.N.?

In addition to creating stupid rules for member nations to abide by and giving money to dictators through corrupt schemes, another duty of the U.N. is to keep peace. Remember how World War 2 was one of the supposed reasons they were created and after we had the U.N. they would keep people from fighting wars and such? We all know they suck but we still dump money into them. I came across this video that demonstrates perfectly how effective the U.N. is.
Continue reading “How Worthless is the U.N.?”

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Ehhhh Goat

So I am a gigantic fan of the “How it Should Have Ended” and “Rifftrax” series’ of videos as you should have seen. Making fun of movies is in many cases far more enjoyable than watching them for me these days. I am excited to see the bad lip reading jumping into movies.
Continue reading “Ehhhh Goat”

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I-40

Today being Tuesday September 11 is a good chance for me to post something inspired, in part, by a previous Tuesday September 11. In 2001 I was fairly fresh back from a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. My younger brother was preparing to go off to a mission in Switzerland when he drove from our old home in Texas up to Utah to see me and other people before he left. While he was staying with me I gave him a lot of things to take with him, mostly luggage and clothes. When he was heading back to Texas he blew a hole in the side of his engine just outside of Albuquerque on I-40. He hitchhiked into town and called our mother who had contacted someone in Albuquerque who could help and then got a plane ticket home for my brother. When the friend from Albuquerque drove my brother back to his car to tow it back into town, my brother was relieved to see that the tarp he had draped over his luggage in the cab of the little truck was still there. When he opened the driver side door and moved the tarp he found his luggage had been stolen and the passenger window had been broken out.

Fast forward a couple of months to when my brother was set to leave the Missionary Training Center (MTC) for the church. I was in the airport terminal in Salt Lake where my brother would take off for Dallas and then on to Switzerland. I finally spotted him heading toward the escalator. When he got to me he said that the girl behind the counter just told him that one of their (American Airlines) planes had just crashed into a building in New York. The picture that came to my mind was a small commuter with engine troubles losing control and hitting a building. I said, “You don’t say that to someone who’s about to fly” and kind of shook it off. A few minutes after 7:00 MST My brother and I then saw Joseph B. Wirthlin, who had a grandson going to Switzerland too. My brother and I kinda wandered over towards him. As I stood up to wander over that way though I thought I heard the woman who was watching the television, that I had been ignoring, say, “A second plane?” but I ignored it as it wasn’t clear if that is what she had actually said and I was very preoccupied. It seemed like just a couple of minutes before they called for boarding his flight. My brother got in line and I figured it was a good time to say good-bye. I told him I’d see him later and told him to “have fun” then walked away a little and watched him walk towards the jetway.

I then went out to my car and very quickly drove back down to my place on very clear and empty roads while not listening to the radio, but to the CD “The Pleasure and the Greed” by Big Wreck (still remember small details, as I am sure everyone else does). When I got home I was feeling good and picked up the old guitar to play a bit. I had played half of a song when mom called me and asked, “Did your brother’s plane take off?” I said, “Yes” and my mom was very disappointed. I said, “Uh, that’s a good thing ma. He’s on his way to you” (she was in the DFW airport waiting to see him on his layover). She then unknowingly quoted something that was amusing to me for only the next few seconds. It was from “Independence Day” and it was “David, haven’t you been watching?” She then said, “Turn on your TV.” As I got to my living room I asked, “What channel?” and the wall of normalcy was ripped away from me when she said, “It doesn’t matter.” As soon as the TV came on I saw smoke coming from both towers. My mother then said that they had also hit the Pentagon and may have more planes out there. Which brought my mind back to my brother. I hung up and started trying to call the MTC but couldn’t get through. I then just stared helplessly at the TV for the next 45 minutes or so while both towers collapsed.

As it turns out my brother’s plane had only made it to the end of the runway before being turned around. He was brought back to the MTC for another week before he was able to leave when flights were allowed again.

Now in order to understand somethings in what I present below you need to understand a basic tenet of LDS belief. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we believe that people can only be held accountable for what they know. If someone is ignorant of something they cannot be condemned for what they do regarding that item. We believe that once someone knows something that they are then accountable for that knowledge and what they do with it. Whether a person takes a piece of knowledge and uses it to better their lives and the lives of those around them or if they ignore or misuse the knowledge they have they will be rewarded or condemned accordingly.

With all of that in mind I present the song I wrote for my brother at that time. I-40:

And now it’s time to calm down, calm down now.
They’ve taken everything, everything I gave you.
I know that you’d broken down, broken down alone.
And when you weren’t around to defend your ground, they came.

Don’t let them go away.

Today was to be a great day, you’d go away and learn.
But you never left the ground, they hurt that town away.

Don’t let them go away.
And life is stolen everyday.
Don’t let them go away.

The main point is telling him to go teach people to either open their eyes or bring them condemnation based on their, now informed, personal choices. It uses very extreme cases of people choosing incorrectly against things that I think they probably were already fully knowledgable of since stealing and killing are obviously wrong. I like to think that if more people had greater knowledge this world would be a better place and that very few would choose the low road if they knew more, but if they do they will have justice done to them. So don’t let them go away without the knowledge of what is true and right.

“Brothers and sisters, we live in sobering times. Now let’s get to work.” — President Gordon B. Hinckley

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Who’s the Bigot Now?

Bigot – a person who is utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief, or opinion.

Having clearly defined the term to mean something other than someone who disagrees with a leftist, we can proceed with today’s topic. Recently there has been a great deal of hullabaloo around Chick-fil-a president and COO Dan Cathy and his recent comments regarding marriage and family. Anything I have read from a source that can be considered to the left politically has been grossly distorted and not accurate to anything Cathy said. My favorite, hugely-distorted headlines and trumped up outrage has come from Gawker sites. Let’s go to them to get our first piece of what Cathy said:

Chick-fil-A’s Delicious Chicken Sandwiches Are Deep Fried in Hate

The head of Chick-fil-A confirmed yesterday what liberal worrywarts have been warning oblivious sandwich eaters about for years: he really can’t stand the homos. That’s bad news, if you’re a Chick-fil-A connoisseur — the delicious deep fried poultry treat you’ve been putting in your face all these years is not only bad for your cardiovascular system, it’s bad for your soul. It’s bad for society!

Chick-fil-A’s President Dan Cathy made the announcement that it’s actually been Dick-fil-A all along in an interview with the Baptist Press that was posted earlier this week. In it, the multimillionaire restaurant owner ah-hyucked his way through an explanation of why his chain of restaurants gives so much money to anti-gay groups. It’s not that they don’t like gays, it’s that they think gay people are, um, an abomination. “Guilty as charged!” he said.

Oh my goodness!!! This Cathy sounds like a horrible human being who hates anyone who is not like him. Let’s get the pitchforks and burn him and his family to death!!!

Only, oops, the “guilty as charged” quote was not in reference to hating gay people and wishing ill will upon them. It was in reference to donating to and supporting groups that are looking to strengthen families and marriage. Does strengthening families and marriage equate to hating anyone? No it does not. The group that Cathy was specifically talking about supporting has a website at Winshape.com. I decided to go to this site and see how much they are an insane “anti-gay” group that wants to destroy fluffy happiness. I could not find anything that was “anti-gay”. I then did a site specific Google search for the term “gay” which came up empty. Then I tried “homosexual” to no avail. Seeing as they are “anti-gay” right wing nut jobs, I decided to search for more offensive terms which I would no doubt find on this crafty bastian of hatred. “Fag”, “faggot”, “homo” and “queer” all returned nothing. From what I could see this really was some kind of site for christian marriage and family strengthening and counseling. They must have made a separate site to promote their true agenda and not given anyone the link.

Giving up on that search I decided to go find out how many gay people had been denied service at Chick-fil-a because they were gay. Dagnabit I could find nothing. Surely I would next be able to find the count of which Chick-fil-a eateries had gay water fountains and straight water fountains. I found the count and it was 0. I just chalk that up to them not even wanting gay people to be around or to their eventual goal of a gay holocaust.

Cathy cannot possibly have just been talking about his support for strengthening families and marriages when he said, “Guilty as charged”. That has been made clear by the many reports I have seen.

I decided to go to the original interview for the frothing hatred in it’s purest form. When I read through it sure did appear that Cathy was one of those icky christians who go spreading hatred throughout the land by supporting strengthening families and marriages. He did use the phrase “biblical definition” for family units and we all know that this phrase is the smoking gun in regards to his true anti-gay nature. It seems he was a clever one though by disguising his burning rage as support for things he believes in making stronger. Well, we can’t have that, people believing in things and supporting them, ewwwww gross!!!

This brings me back to the definition of the word bigot:

a person who is utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief, or opinion.

No way, it cannot be. It would appear that Cathy was voicing his creed, belief or opinion regarding marriage and family and is now under attack by those who are utterly intolerant of it, thus making those who are so vocal in their venom towards him bigoty, bigotted, bigots. Cathy was not utterly intolerant of anyone else’s views in this interview, he merely voiced his own opinion on a topic and is now facing that repressive tolerance that we all know and love.

I did some more reading and found that Cathy had previously said on a radio show:

“we’re inviting God’s judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at him and say we know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage. And I pray God’s mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude that thinks we have the audacity to redefine what marriage is all about.”

What a hateful thing to say that he prays that God has mercy on those who, in his beliefs are going against God. We all know that no one actually believes in God and that such a God would never grant mercy and kindness, so this statement must mean that he hates gay people, especially when you consider that he also said:

”while my family and I believe in the Biblical definition of marriage, we love and respect anyone who disagrees.”

And the company released this statement:

The Chick-fil-A culture and service tradition in our restaurants is to treat every person with honor, dignity and respect – regardless of their belief, race, creed, sexual orientation or gender. We will continue this tradition in the over 1,600 Restaurants run by independent Owner/Operators. Going forward, our intent is to leave the policy debate over same-sex marriage to the government and political arena.

What a disgusting and demonic bigot and his minions of hatred. Oh wait what was the definition of bigot again? :

a person who is utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief, or opinion.

Hmmm, well back to the old drawing board. Come on fellow bigots let’s prevent anyone from voicing an opinion we don’t like in public again. Let’s destroy this company and make an example to all who disagree with us.

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Swiss Miss Debbie

So if you haven’t been watching the idiocy that is the Obama 2012 campaign you may not have heard that …dun…dun…dun… Mitt Romney has a Swiss bank account and what he does with his own money and property is everyone else’s business. What a dastardly thing to do with his own property. Well, in true moron fashion Debbie Wasserman-Schultz chimes in on this bank account non-issue and well, well, well it turns out she is a hypocrite. Shocking, I know.

Disclosure forms reveal that Democratic National Committee chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz, a member of Congress from Florida, previously held funds with investments in Swiss banks, foreign drug companies, and the state bank of India. This revelation comes mere days after the Democratic chair attacked presumptive Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney for holding money in Swiss bank accounts in the past.

Well there you go. It’s getting pretty old.