Category: Interesting

Posted on

Superhero Week Pt. 5: Superheroes of My Own Inventing

Ok, yesterday I said we were going over the best, but I was wrong. Now we will look at the best. Don’t let the title mislead you, I didn’t come up with all of these by myself. A couple of them were invented by and with friends quite a few years ago.

Lampshademan
Once again as a bored young man grabbed a lampshade, a trenchcoat and a golf club and made up a superhero. Lampshademan. Bad guys can never find him when he stands in a corner or next to a couch. Apparently it must have either been a very popular thing to mimic or it is just so obvious and easy to come up with, because there are all kinds of fools posing as Lampshademan throughout the internets.

Bucketman/Todd Pail
Todd Pail was in a horrible accident on a school trip, which fused a bucket to his head and gave him the ability to throw bucket lids at evildoers. That’s when he became Bucketman. Bucketman is, of course, in alliance with Lampshademan which might have to change since Lampshademan has become so overdone and lame. This one was dreamed up and modeled after my friend Brandon, who previously did some posts here and I consider him one of the funniest people I know. He would eat buckets of ice cream and then put them on his head while holding the lid as a weapon

Pillowhead
Originally wore his underwear on the outside but cleaned up his act for the kids. You could punch pillow head all you want and he would just lay back in comfort. Until, of course, his pillow shifted and you actually began to hit his face. He is also in alliance with Lampshademan and Bucketman.

Milkjug
This superhero is fortified with vitamin justice and calcium. When creating this superhero we tried to make a Milkjug mask but it was really sharp around the edges and would have mutilated your face to wear it around. Milkjug rounds out the crime fighting quartet with the aforementioned heroes.

Mansquatch
Since Lampshademan is kinda lame I came up with this one a few years ago. Instead of putting something on his head Mansquatch just takes off his shirt and shoes to transform into a crime fighting juggernaut. At times he can get cold or be embarrassed if he fights crime at a formal event, but it is worth it. He has also had issues fighting crime at 7/11s and fast food joints. He wants to be in alliance with the others but has not had the chance to communicate with them in years.

Well there you have them, some heroes. Hopefully Superhero week has been as magical for you as it has been for me. If you have made up your own superheroes or anything like that, let me know about it below.

Posted on

Old Newspapers I Have: Tuesday October 3, 1995

Here is a beauty that I kept from the Midland Reporter Telegram in Midland Texas. The main story, is of course, one everyone should be familiar with. See here for the ultimate follow-up to this headline. Other big news of the day included a book signing tour from Colin Powell, abortion protest cases being decided by the supreme court in the absence of the chief justice and a local bus crash.

Continue reading “Old Newspapers I Have: Tuesday October 3, 1995”

Posted on

One Lousy Grandfather

I enjoy the classic Willy Wonka film with Gene Wilder as much as anybody. I did not like the newer Johnny Depp version of the story at all. There is one huge thing that really bugs me about the story especially as told in the older version. Charlie Bucket’s Grandpa Joe is the worst grandfather in movie history. Let us explore some reasons for my conclusion.

Lazy Sack
While Charlie’s mother slaves away to support not only Charlie but many elderly people who all share the same bed, Grandpa Joe just sits there, in bed, wasting his time sucking up resources for tobacco money. When Charlie gets the ticket he doesn’t choose to take his hard-working, caring mother, he wants Grandpa Joe to come. Bedridden Grandpa Joe? How could he possibly make it? Oh wait, now suddenly he is singing and dancing around the bed. All this time he could have jumped out of bed and improved life for his family by working and didn’t. As soon as a chance to see a chocolate factory comes along he is Mr. Go-getter.

Bad Influence
Grandpa Joe later tells Charlie to steal the fizzy lifting drinks and almost gets him killed by the strangely-placed chopping fan at the top of the super tall room. Good idea Grandpa. This later gets Charlie yelled at by Gene Wilder and appears to cost him his winnings. It is at this point that Grandpa Joe with his great wisdom tells Charlie that they were going to give Slugworth the everlasting gobstopper. Luckily, that time Charlie didn’t listen to Grandpa Joe and he gave it back to Wonka.

This Video
The fact that Grandpa Joe didn’t react like this also makes him a horrible Grandparent.

It is things like these that make Grandpa Joe a shining example for his impressionable grandson. Way to go Joe.

Posted on

Masterpiece from a Friend

I did not draw this but only colored it in. A friend had drawn it and given up on finishing it. I thought it was far too clever to not finish. Now gaze upon its glory.

I could go on about how it sends a message about humans and their relation to animals. About how we hold a higher place of authority than they because of our level of awareness of others and communication with them coupled with our level of technology. We could go deep into philosophical and ethical questions but I would rather just say, “Ha ha, the man brought in the paper.”

Posted on

Fighting About Fighting

It may surprise many to find out that the mammoth of a human being they know as Dale was once mocked by his second grade classmates as “Skinnybones”. It is the only name that has ever come close to 2 more obvious names in frequency of use. One day, during reading time I was conversing with two other kids about muscles. I made a point about how muscle size doesn’t necessarily represent the actual strength of a person.

Continue reading “Fighting About Fighting”
Posted on

Fun With The Transitive Property

Back in junior high math class one of the most interesting sections was the proofs. The transitive property is famous for it’s very sound logic. If a=b and b=c then a=c. Let’s take some cliches and apply this property to them just for the halibut.

1. If Time is Money and Money is Power then Time is Power.

  • Money is the root of all evil. Power is the root of all evil. Time is the root of all evil.
  • Money can’t buy me love. Power can’t buy me love. Time can’t buy me love.
  • Time heals all wounds. Money heals all wounds. Power heals all wounds.
  • Power corrupts. Money corrupts. Time corrupts.

2. If God is love and Love is blind then God is blind.

It doesn’t really work because our cliche sayings are not very logically sound. Time and money and power are not equal to each other. God is not actually love itself and love does not require braille. We humans love metaphors and other devices to help us grasp concepts and ideas.

Wow, that was very nerdy.