Tag: Art

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Secondhand Scruffy

Before my sister had her first baby she, of course, had a baby shower. Our chain smoking neighbor was in attendance and brought some nice gifts. One of the gifts was a previously used stuffed animal. Later in the day when my brothers, their friends and I came back we discovered this gracious gift. It was a hand-me-down that had been used by another child. I picked it up and noticed that it smelled deeply of cigarettes and immediately knew who had given the gift.

On the spot I developed a character named Secondhand Scruffy. He was a stuffed dog with long human arms that would awaken when parents left and offer the children various tobacco products. I named him “Secondhand Scruffy” for two reasons. First because he was a hand-me-down and second because of the secondhand smoke that had filled him with his odor. I think my sister threw the toy away. Just recently I got around to drawing a picture of Scruffy, enjoy.


Secondhand Scruffy

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Busy Busy Busy

I have been recording, editing, mixing and mastering songs for an album in my basement for the last little while. Therefore I have not spent that spare time making posts and such, as you may have noticed. I have resolved to make at least one post every week, even when busy making an album which I have decided to release on iTunes and the like in Feb.

To satisfy this weeks post I will put up something that is kinda dumb that I made during the recent NBA strike. I really dislike unions and this situation was no different.

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Not So Pretty Picture

I just found out that Chelsea Clinton has become a new NBC anchor. After my shock that it wasn’t Bill or Hillary that was chosen first for this bastion of fair reporting, I remembered that I drew a picture of young Mrs. Clinton in an art class when I was in high school. My art subject was selected at random from a magazine and I feel that I really captured it in a true-to-form fashion.

Uuuuuugh {shivers}

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Still Life

As you may be aware I enjoyed annoying my art teacher in high school. One thing that anyone who has taken an art class has had to do is to draw a still life scene. In our class the teacher loaded a table in the middle of the room with fake fruit, plants, random junk and bovine skeletons. She had spotlights shining onto the subjects. We were told to select three items from the scene to draw. As you might guess this was my selection:
Continue reading “Still Life”

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Masterpiece from a Friend

I did not draw this but only colored it in. A friend had drawn it and given up on finishing it. I thought it was far too clever to not finish. Now gaze upon its glory.

I could go on about how it sends a message about humans and their relation to animals. About how we hold a higher place of authority than they because of our level of awareness of others and communication with them coupled with our level of technology. We could go deep into philosophical and ethical questions but I would rather just say, “Ha ha, the man brought in the paper.”

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What an Ingrate

Looking back, I was either a very good student and my teacher loved me or I was a loudmouthed nightmare. I am not sure what makes me behave differently in different situations but I am sure that I really bothered my high school art teacher. She was much too patient with me for how obnoxious I was. I wasn’t mean or anything I was just a super smart alec and maybe sometimes I reached a mean level. For example, We did a calligraphy section and I turned in this masterpiece:

2822b

Sorry Mrs. Haney and thanks for teaching me art.

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Propaganda For People

I am devoted to uniting mankind and making the world a better place. The other night as I was flipping channels on the old tube, I saw a news commentator talking about how The U.S.A. is the best country in the world. While I personally agree, I also couldn’t help but wonder how this makes people in other countries feel. So to unite the world I have come up with some propaganda that will inspire a sense of pride and togetherness amongst all mankind.

If we can rally around the cause together we will all be one, just like in Independence Day. If somebody doesn’t like the life that they can have on Earth they can try to live somewhere else. Here on Earth there is a good chance that war or disease might kill you, but everywhere else just being there will kill you. That’s why I am proud to be a human from Earth. Who’s with me?

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Hamburger Heart Bear

Meet one of the “Apathy Bears”. He is “Hamburger Heart Bear”. His will to live was stolen by the Hamburglar a long time ago and the only joy he gets in life is when he sinks his teeth into a greasy triple stack. Diabetes and a few bypass surgeries are certainly in his future, but this is one 12 year old who doesn’t mind much, as long as he gets it “his way”.

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Ending a Bumper Sticker Battle

I do a lot of reading while in my car. Most of it is, of course, bumper stickers. There has been one bumper sticker that I have always thought was pretty stupid. It is the ” My Kid Beat Up Your Honor Student” sticker.

That’s terrific. Let’s inflict bodily harm on someone who has worked hard and has made their parents proud. It has never seemed funny to me, not even when I was a dumb kid. And, no, I was never an honor student.

Now, I have had the perfect answer to that bumper sticker for a while. I cannot remember if I came up with the idea or if one of my friends did. I have not seen this bumper sticker on any cars yet, so here it is.

Maybe if your kid wasn’t wasting his time beating up other kids he could have studied and been competent enough to keep that job. Or he could have gotten along with others and not been fired. I blame the parents.

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Update For a Year Old Post

UPDATE – I didn’t win the contest from last year:

I saw an ad on TV the other day for a Captain Morgan Pose contest. This is my entry. I think it is a real winner. “He’s got a little Captain in him”

Too bad the prize is going to a party with a bunch of idiots.