Tag: Art

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Johrack McBama

I really dislike how divided the U.S. gets every four years and how it lingers for the next 3.7 years then picks right back up. Good news, scientists have found a way to bring two people together in body and mind. They have devised the Voltron Solution.

They have used it to create a candidate that will really unite the people. Last night after the debate scientists kidnapped the candidates and made them drink the Voltron Solution and hold hands. The result is Johrack McBama. He is truly bi-partisan and will bring us all together (Unless, of course, like me, you don’t like either of the politicians that he is made up of).

Johrack McBama in 2008.

If this plan fails to unite us, the scientists plan on releasing their Voltron Solution into the water supply. Thus uniting the entire U.S. population into a massive evil-fighting robot.

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Urinal Quizzes

With the invention of the internet there came the ability to spread knowledge of how to behave at bathroom urinals. With games like Urinal Quiz one could learn about proper etiquette in the bathroom without having to be in the bathroom. Imagine the old days when an older, wiser man would take a young man into the bathroom to teach him how to pick urinals. They would watch others use the restroom and the young man would be quizzed about where to go. This was very uncomfortable for everyone involved.

One very important thing that a urinal quiz won’t teach you is what to do about troughs. Who wants to stand around peeing into a giant tub with other guys? This is not only wide open with no privacy, but the other guys may be splashers. So what do you do?

The correct answer is to go outside and urinate on the establishment that put in a trough.

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Creativity for the Untalented

I heard Dennis Miller say some time ago that Contrarianism is creativity for the untalented. This is a very thought provoking statement and the more I have thought about it the more true it becomes. If someone with no talent wants to create something, whether it is a painting, a poem, a news article or just anything that can be created they many times look at another persons work and say, “I am going to do the opposite”. Doing the opposite makes it look as though the person thought of it on their own, since no one else has done it before. Only the opposite has been done before. “Look at my painting. I call it the Lisa Mona and it has a man with a big smile in it.”

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21st Century Flagpoles

You have to look closely and know how flagpoles work to get this one. Otherwise you will think it is just a flag at half mast. If you still need more of a clue to get it, notice where the top pulley wheel for the flag is. The background is a photo I took and I drew the flag in with my computer machine.