With all the commercials for the new Star Trek movie and the fact that they are making “The Hobbit” into a movie, I have remembered this video:
Indeed wow.
New Taco Bell Ad
It isn’t really their new ad but it should be.
Children’s Book = Movie
Where the Wild Things Are is a children’s book that has just recently been made into a movie:
Another classic child’s book has been made into a movie:
Stupid Balloon Prank
Since April fools I have been thinking about dumb things I have done to people. Some of them I must plea the 5th on and some are fairly harmless. I was talking with Brandon about this one that we pulled on one of our old roommates. We were really really bored and had some balloons, so we filled them up, put faces on them and placed them in strategic locations where our roommate would run across them at different times.
For some reason I think he didn’t find it as funny as we did. But I could just be remembering his general reaction to almost everything, which could be why we always messed with him.
Problem Solved: World Hunger
We have all seen the sad commercials about hungry children and the struggling people who work hard but just can’t provide, or the commercials for the children who may not even have parents that have the bloated bellies from not eating. It is a real problem and I have a real solution. I think it would be really sweet if this solution was actually implemented but I highly doubt it.
I am thinking about calling my solution:
The Food Network Challenge
If you have ever watched the food network you have no doubt seen the enormous amounts of food that are made all the time. Now, if every Food Network show could be shot on location in a disaster area or at a soup kitchen or in one of the myriad of places where people are in need this would be a gigantic help to a lot of people. Many people would have no trouble putting up with a super-peppy chef so they could finally have a meal. No matter what, there are always people who need food so they will never run out of locations.
This could be a big positive for the station as well. First off, they would be seen as kind and caring. Secondly, starving people would not have to make fake approving faces with mmmm’s and oohh yeah’s. The home audience would see people eating the food and say, “Wow, that looks really delicious, I have never seen someone enjoy a meal that much. I should buy the recipe book.”
So, come on Food Network, do the right thing and at least make one show that does this. Then pick me up for my “Hobo Eats” show idea.
Crabs
My favorite panel of experts:
Worst April Fools Prank Ever
I had a roommate once that we just addressed as Pursifull. He was an odd fellow, which made for some hilarious, frightening and sometimes confusing occurrences. One fine April Fools morning my other roommate jumped into the shower and turned it on. The water didn’t come out of the shower head at first, then it just drizzled out. He turned off the water and removed the shower head. He opened the door and called me over. When I got to the bathroom door he said, “Look what I found in the shower head.” It was an entire pack of Kool Aid. If you haven’t heard of this gag, it involves packing some Kool Aid into a shower head so that a person ends up taking a shower in purple or red water that can stain them. You are supposed to pack the Kool Aid in something that will slowly dissolve inside the shower head and release the Kool Aid after some time has passed, like toilet paper. Well, Pursifull had just shoved a full unopened packet of Kool Aid into the shower and clogged it up.
At that moment Pursifull was in his shower singing very loudly. I took the Kool Aid from my roommate and went over to the other bathroom. The door was unlocked and I let myself in. I crept up to the shower curtain with the now opened Kool Aid packet ready to toss. Pursifull kept singing as I advanced closer. As I reached up to dump the Kool Aid over the curtain Pursifull seemed to get louder. “I’m a little teapot short and st……….uh oh!!!” I had dumped the Kool Aid and ran out of there. For the next day he had a big purple streak on the left side of his face.
Airplane Announcement
This guy could revolutionize the announcements industry. If someone asks, “how much for a drink”, the flight attendant could rightfully say, “Didn’t you listen to the announcements?”
Wasp Week pt. 4: Cartoon Bear
I was walking through the woods one day when I saw the biggest beehive I have ever seen. I had always wanted to taste honey straight from the hive and it looked like no one was home. I thought it was strange that I didn’t see one single bee around this beehive, but I decided that it was the perfect opportunity to fulfill my lifelong dream of tasting super-fresh honey.
I climbed up the tree that the hive was in and set myself on a branch by it. I reached over to try to figure out how to get inside it when I saw a bee come out of it. The bee headed straight for me and I slapped it out of the air. Then suddenly I could hear what I couldn’t hear a second before, it was the buzzing of what must have been thousands of bees. I decided that was a good time to get the heck out of Dodge. I quickly dropped out of the tree just as the hordes of bees emerged to protect their domicile. Once I hit the ground with a thud, I figured, “Hey, why not see what the absolute fastest I can run is? That sounds like fun.” As I started to run it felt like I wasn’t even moving, but my legs were just spinning in the air for a second. By the time the bees caught up with me I was moving at an extremely fast rate. I turned back for a split second to see how close they were and it appeared that they had gathered in a formation that looked like a cannon. The bees in the front retracted backwards and then quickly forward and when they did that, a large group of bees from the middle would blast towards my head. I had to tuck my head inside of my shirt to dodge them. I thought I had already reached maximum speed but when I saw them get ready for another shot I somehow increased my speed to about 4 times faster than it was before.
I knew I definitely could not keep up the pace for much longer and luckily I saw a nearby pond. I headed over to it and jumped in. Serendipitously I found a hollow reed that I could breathe through. When I put it above the surface the bees filed down the hole straight into my mouth. The surprise of this and the pain from having my tongue get stung, caused me to jump clear out of the pond. I took off running into the sunset with the bees flying behind me and lurching forward every second and a half to sting me which caused me to jump in the air and yelp in pain. It was a rough day.
Pssst, You Look Stupid (Boots Over Pantlegs)
Many people choose to follow trends that will make them look back in a few years and hopefully feel embarrassed that they were so dumb. We need to help such individuals out by pointing out to them that they look stupid. It may seem negative but it is actually done out of love. Plus it’s a joke.
Tucking Pantlegs into Boots
What You Are Saying:
“I don’t know what looks stupid, but the TV stars are doing this.”
Makes People Think of:
Dumb and Dumber after they bought some new clothes. or
Napoleon Dynamite
Insulted Person Says to Me:
“Hey, this is the latest fashion.”
My Reply:
“Uuuuuuuhhhhhhh”
Currently Rolling Over In Grave(s):
John Wayne
Crocodile Dundee
You are welcome.