Opinions are like armpits. Yours stink and mine smell like morning meadows … or sport
When planning the crime of the century it is probably a good idea to make sure you haven’t accidentally dialed 911 with dispatch now recording your plans. I guess you could do that if you were getting bored with the monotony of the average heist and wanted to add something to up the degree of difficulty.
Who doesn’t love a good stupid-criminal story?
I don’t really need to say anything about this. The guys at How it Should Have Ended are hilarious geniuses.
I am fully behind Barack Obama as candidate for president. I really want to know where I can volunteer to help out in this cause. He has already shown that he can create jobs and vastly increase exports and economic activity…
If you are as sick of hearing about Bin Laden as I am then you are in the right place today. Let’s have some levity. I noticed a few things about a popular figure some time ago that led me to an exciting conclusion. As you may have guessed that character is Jiminy Cricket from the Pinocchio story.
“What big revelation could you could possibly have about an old cricket?” I hear you asking. Well, Jiminy Cricket is, in fact, a Mormon Cricket. I have a very strong case for my conclusion and once you are filled in you will agree.
1. First off, I noticed great similarity between the way that Jiminy dresses and the way that the first President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (aka Mormons), Joseph Smith, dresses.
It may be just the way that Jiminy has always dressed or it could be an Arthur “Killer” Kane style shout-out to Smith via wardrobe.
2. Mormons also have a strong belief in carefully selecting what you put into your mind with things like entertainment. Mormons are taught that many types of entertainment can entrap you and ultimately get you to a place you do not want to be. If that sounds familiar within the Pinocchio story then you might be remembering the showbiz boss Stromboli trapping Pinocchio in a cage. And who eventually gets Pinocchio, an impressionable youth, away from the evils of showbiz? Jiminy again. Are you seeing the pattern?
3. Now, again like Joseph Smith, Jiminy was also witness to visitations of heavenly beings. Jiminy saw the Blue Fairy when she made Pinocchio come alive as a puppet and made Jiminy his conscience and then again when she saved Pinocchio from Stromboli.
4. My next reason is one of the most compelling. When Pinocchio ends up gallivanting around Pleasure Island, who was it that came and stopped him from drinking alcohol and smoking? That’s right, Jiminy. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has a code of health that is called the “Word of Wisdom” which proscribes the use of alcohol, tobacco, coffee, tea and harmful drugs in addition to encouraging eating healthily. It is possible that the cricket was trying to help Pinocchio follow this Mormon rule.
5. In the story Jiminy also saves Pinocchio from a lifetime of humiliation and slavery as a jackass. This can be likened to the majority of Mormons’ rejection of progressive democrat(jackass/donkey) policies.
6. Mormons also believe in receiving personal revelation from God through the Holy Ghost. In the Bible, the Holy Ghost is related with a dove. In Pinocchio’s story Jiminy gets a note from a dove that originated from the Blue Fairy. The note tells him about Geppetto being lost at sea.
7. Mormons also believe in modern prophets. What biblical imagery is brought to mind when I mention being swallowed by a whale? How about the prophet Jonah?
8. Now while they were looking for and inside of Monstro the Whale, did you happen to notice where everybody was? That’s right…underwater. Mormons are known for their missionary program throughout the world. They travel all over and talk to people about God, revelation, restoration and, of course, Baptism.
9. After he has helped Pinocchio to become more than he previously was and turn into a real boy Jiminy gets a big gold badge with writing on it. This reminds one of the writing on the gold plates from whence the Book of Mormon was translated, does it not?
I think I have made a pretty solid case for Jiminy being a Mormon. Who knows why he hasn’t told any one by now? Maybe he is afraid of being mocked and painted as something he is not or maybe he is waiting for the right time to tell his parents that he converted. I think it is most likely that he has been too busy pulling Pinocchio out of horrible situations to even get a word in about it. That’s OK Jiminy, I told everyone for you.
Hi, I’m Jiminy
I’m a Mormon.
For those who may believe that I am actually saying that a cricket was baptized as a member of the LDS faith, I am joking.
Hayek and Keynes. Most people have never heard of either of them. At the pointless “Rally to Restore Sanity” a great many geniuses were infuriated and flummoxed by a sign asking if Obama was Keynesian:
Leaving this embarrassing ignorance aside, Keynes and Hayek are metaphorically duking it out every day. Viewing historical examples Hayek has beaten Keynes into a bloody pulp. Despite the historical beat-downs powerful people still love and use Keynes. I really appreciate the series of videos that have been put out by EconStories explaining the differences between the two. The latest video is well worth the educational watch:
The fact that Hayek is so disrespected, first by a cavity search then by being declared the loser after knocking Keynes out, is downright hilarious to me as it rings very, very true. Good to see Hayek get a little respect from non-Federal Reserve types at the end. Even though what is represented here has serious consequences in the real world the video is pretty dang funny and even has a Bernanke look alike.
Another educational week is in the books. I took notes and thought I would share them. There is a lot to cover so let’s get going on it.
Continue reading “3/20/11 – 3/26/11 | What We Learned This Week”
This week has been full of all kinds of different lessons. Let us take a moment to ponder on these and take what we can from these valuable learning experiences. Some may be hard to handle but we must come to terms with new things learned.
Continue reading “3/13/11 – 3/19/11 | What We Learned This Week”
I must put this up as it is one of my favorite moments from Black Adder. It is filled with clever little bits all throughout. So here it is, enjoy:
I love to make people who work as cashiers laugh. I use a lot of spur of the moment stuff and a few tried-and-true bits to accomplish this. I have been trying for years to get a particular joke to land at the grocery store. I am happy to announce that this morning at around 6:43 success was achieved.
When you are singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl make sure you know the words. I think we all know how it feels to botch it in front of millions of viewers. Well as it turns out, Christina Aguilera is not dead and she was the one to sing the national anthem at the Super Bowl this year.
For those of you that don’t know the anthem by heart listen for the line “o’er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming”. (0:51 in the video)
Maybe you will find this small mess up as funny as I do after you watch what I instantly thought of when I heard her.
Good ol’ Nielsen.