Stay safe everyone.
There Goes the Neighborhood
Yesterday at lunch time, my wife informed me that a police officer came to the door and told her to stay in the house and that they “wouldn’t have to evacuate, yet.” And the SWAT team was coming in. Apparently some guys had broken into a house at 2 in the morning and cracked the residents over their heads with a bat. Then they dragged them to the living room and demanded drugs and money while pointing a gun at them. They took a bunch of electronics and told them not to call the cops or they would comeback and kill them. When the perps left the family called the cops. The suspects saw a police car and turned into a trailer park where they got a flat tire. They abandoned the vehicle with everything they had stolen and hid in a backyard. They then got away from there and went to the house of one of their brothers which happens to be in my neck of the woods. That’s where the SWAT team came in. I went home to find my street blocked off and tons of cops and reporters everywhere. I parked down another street and went and asked one of our local newsmen how I could get up to my house. He said he had no idea so I just jumped my neighbors back fence and ran through their backyard to get to mine. (My back fence is a big sound-proof wall so I can’t climb it.) I got in my house and started filming and photographing stuff.
This really makes me want to play counter-strike.
SNL Funny????
I haven’t thought anything on Saturday Night Live was funny for a long time. I would tune in sometimes to see if I would laugh and never so much as crack a smile. Randomly there would be something pretty good, maybe. I watched on Saturday and saw a couple of things that I thought were pretty good.
I guess there is some weird editing stuff with this first one.
This one is just a good solid impression.
I have always wanted to be a writer for SNL (even when they are unfunny) so if anyone knows anybody, go ahead and hook me up.
Maybe I can dig up some classics at a later date.
I’ll Take 3 of Them
While watching television you are bombarded with an extremely high number of commercials. If the commercials could be as entertaining as the shows it wouldn’t be a problem, but they rarely are. Most commercials are just plain dumb. You know what I am talking about. You’ve lived through it. I really wish that I could be the guy to come up with commercials for people. I know I could do a much better job than many of the people that are doing it nowadays. In the near future I will have a few posts about different kinds of commercials and how they bother me. I have already done one fake commercial mocking many tooth product commercials that claim to give you that “fresh from the dentist feeling”. More of that should be coming in the future too.
For now I am content to let you see what I think is the most effective commercial ever. I will also throw in some others from the great minds that came up with that one.
#1 Message Received
Extra Great Ones
Sweet Justice
If you weren’t reading right now, I would ask you to close your eyes and imagine with me that you are in your car, stopped at a light. You look over to the passenger seat because you think you see a dollar bill over there. Your eyes have been off the light for about 0.42 seconds when you suddenly hear a loud obnoxious honking from behind you. The light has turned green and either Jack Bauer is behind you and needs to get downtown “NOW!!!” before the bomb explodes, or you are in front of an impatient jerk.
You may feel far too lazy to get out of your car and rain down blows upon them, or your parole officer wouldn’t like it if it happened again. What do you do? Honking is, pretty much, only effective for those in front of you. It seems that you are left with no way to let them know they hurt your feelings and all you can do is drive away like a wimp. Although, sometimes you can wait until the light turns red and then take off, leaving Honky McGee sitting at another red light. That one gets old after about the 20th time you do it and you also run the risk of Charlie Manson Jr. being behind Honky McGee in the line of cars. Also, if it really is Jack Bauer you will have some splainin’ to do. Personally, I don’t think about it anymore. I have a secret weapon. (Watch Video) cont. below.
With this weapon I can let someone know that, surprisingly enough, their honking wasn’t appreciated. It also works great if someone is tailgating you. I have made people who were tailgating me laugh at being squirted.
There are a couple of things I would like to do. First I want to put a big dog leg on the back of the Jeep that will lift up when it squirts. Next I want to have somebody on a scooter or motorcycle do something to anger me while they are behind me in traffic. Don’t worry I won’t go looking for trouble, I will only use this power for good, not evil. This was not something I did to my car on purpose, it just wore out on its own. But who am I to question this serendipitous blessing?
Let me be very clear about one more thing too. If you were staring at the imaginary dollar bill in the passenger seat for five minutes, then you deserve to be honked at and you should suck it up and drive away promptly. Now drive courteously.
Pirates
Oh boy, what happened? I actually liked the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie, but the next 2 movies really stunk. I really like this version of the trailer for the last one.
Think About It
Can’t we all just get along?