Month: February 2010

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Television Debut

A house exploded next to the office for the job I just got laid off from. I went in to move some stuff out and had to clean up some glass. A local news lady came by and asked me a couple of questions and then they filmed me sweeping. I checked their news story about it and was amazed to see my television debut. I was actually on TV once as a kid singing a song at school but all the other kids were there and you couldn’t really see me. In this one I am clearly visible. Enjoy:

My Television Debut (You will see me at 1:41 in the video)

That’s right my pant-leg and shoe in their full glory. I can’t believe I was on TV. I guess for my fifteen minutes of fame I have 14:58 left.

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Fighting About Fighting

It may surprise many to find out that the mammoth of a human being they know as Dale was once mocked by his second grade classmates as “Skinnybones”. It is the only name that has ever come close to 2 more obvious names in frequency of use. One day, during reading time I was conversing with two other kids about muscles. I made a point about how muscle size doesn’t necessarily represent the actual strength of a person.

Continue reading “Fighting About Fighting”
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Fun With The Transitive Property

Back in junior high math class one of the most interesting sections was the proofs. The transitive property is famous for it’s very sound logic. If a=b and b=c then a=c. Let’s take some cliches and apply this property to them just for the halibut.

1. If Time is Money and Money is Power then Time is Power.

  • Money is the root of all evil. Power is the root of all evil. Time is the root of all evil.
  • Money can’t buy me love. Power can’t buy me love. Time can’t buy me love.
  • Time heals all wounds. Money heals all wounds. Power heals all wounds.
  • Power corrupts. Money corrupts. Time corrupts.

2. If God is love and Love is blind then God is blind.

It doesn’t really work because our cliche sayings are not very logically sound. Time and money and power are not equal to each other. God is not actually love itself and love does not require braille. We humans love metaphors and other devices to help us grasp concepts and ideas.

Wow, that was very nerdy.

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0118 999 88199 9119725 3

I would just like to take a minute to promote a great show that is unavailable in the U.S. on television. It is called the IT Crowd. I think they were going to make a U.S. version or they may have already tried it and failed. The U.K. version is hilarious and it is unnecessary to try to change it for the U.S.. Follow these links and enjoy the hilarity:

IT

0118 999 88199 9119725 3

Team

Pension

I recommend it as long as you are aware that they have different ideas in the U.K. for what is considered offensive language.

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It’s Like You Never Left

Someone put up a billboard with a picture of George W. Bush on it with the words “Miss Me Yet?” on it. If only there was another billboard right next to it, then I would put a picture of Obama on it striking the exact same pose with one of the following phrases on it:

  • “No”
  • “It’s like you never left”
  • “Why should we?”

Or something similar to those.

Some people seem to forget or were never aware of what Bush did that was awful. Many of the things that defined the Bush presidency are the same things going on in the Obama presidency. Bush expanded medical entitlement programs. Obama wants to. Bush got government further into education. Obama will probably want to, although if he doesn’t, school children sing enough songs about him that we can count that. Bush abandoned free market principles to save the free market. Obama has continued the same non-free market policies. Bush seemed subservient to the Saudis at times. Obama has bowed to everyone and their dog. Bush wanted some form of amnesty for illegal immigrants. Obama will go for the same thing. Bush nominated an idiot for the Supreme Court and so has Obama. If you were looking for change in Iraq, Guantanamo or Afghanistan, you should be disappointed as well. The differences are few; more apologies, higher taxes and more speeches. Indeed it is as if he never left.

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Great Depression Policies

I am very tired of hearing that FDR and the New Deal helped America get out of the Great depression after Hoover put us in it. In history classes I remember being taught that the depression was Hoover’s fault and that Franklin Delano Roosevelt bravely pulled the plane out of its collision course with his New Deal. FDR and Hoover have always been set at odds with each other in my mind, but something has never seemed right with this set up.

As I started to take more of an interest in history, I learned about the period of time that saw the largest dive in U.S. price level that it had ever seen. A 24% drop in GNP was a definite sign of the painful times that were ahead. The president at the time decided that he should dismantle some government bureaucracies that had been established during WW1. This leader of the nation also had deep concern over the $25 billion in debt that had been run up on the tab and the whole time his mantra was, “less government in business”. This president was quoted as saying, “We need vastly more freedom than we do regulation.” This period of time brought about a lot of charity and soup kitchen work for those looking to help fellow citizens who had fallen on hard times. The unemployment rate reached 11.9%. As the problem seemed to worsen, the president pulled back and removed many government pieces from the puzzle. Congress wanted to come to the rescue but the president told them to hold back. Even the president’s own secretary of commerce pleaded and argued with him to get involved to rescue the economy, but he wasn’t having it. The big reveal that you may have built up in your minds is that the president was Herbert Hoover and his policies made the Great Depression happen. This is part of what has never quite felt right about the story that I have been told in history classes. I was indeed told that Hoover did not want government intervention. But I was then given a lesson about the Smoot-Hawley Tariff which made things in the Depression worse after the crash in 1929. I have also read about wage freezes that were ordered during this time, which again, did not help. Those seem like government intervention to me. Now is the moment when I bring out the actual big reveal that the president I spoke about earlier was Warren G. Harding and the year was 1921. All the products in the country dropped half of their value in 1921 and Warren G. just cut taxes and waited it out. His secretary of commerce that was so antsy to intervene (prepare for another big reveal) was Herbert Hoover. The U.S. pulled out of this disaster quickly, with unemployment pulling back to 6.7% by 1922 and by 1923 the roaring twenties were well underway. When they crashed down Herbert Hoover was in charge and free to intervene all he wanted.

At this point the history classes have told us that Hoover did so much damage that it took at least 3 terms of FDR to fix it with the right kind of intervention. This is where I say bullcrap. With the 20/20 vision of hindsight Harold L. Cole and Lee E. Ohanian of UCLA looked over Great Depression policies and found that Roosevelt actually hurt more than he helped. In addition to prolonging the Great Depression FDR also trampled all over the Constitution of the United States. He was called on it a few times with the reversal of some policies. A huge unconstitutional dream of his was to have a second bill of rights (which I guess would have been constitutional if it had been amended in). The principles behind this second bill of rights are enough to make anyone who doesn’t like being forced to do anything sick to their stomachs. Included in his wishlist were the right to food, the right to a house, the right the a job, the right to medical care. As I will further demonstrate in an impending post none of these things can be claimed as rights by anyone. Claiming those as rights for people and forcing citizens to provide such things for others goes against the purpose of our established government and is a violation of any official’s oath of office.

In case you missed it I would have been very frustrated with people who kept voting for FDR as he was holding them down. To drive that point home a bit more I will leave it to the great Thomas Sowell:

To me FDR and Hoover are not at odds with each other, but rather had only slight disagreements about which ways government should overstep its bounds and make things worse. Protect rights and enforce laws. And do it in that order, that is all government should do.

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Satisfied Mind

This here is a song that my grandpa first introduced me to while we were buying supplies to build a fence for my aunt. Everyone and their dog has done their own version of it, so I figured I would throw mine in too. I really see this song as one of the all time greats.

Satisfied Mind
Words & music: Red Hayes and Jack Rhodes

[gplayer href=”http://www.everydaynormal.com/files/Satisfied Mind.mp3″]Satisfied Mind[/gplayer]

The message of the song has always been a favorite of mine too. Some other versions worth checking out are from Johnny Cash, The Byrds, Porter Wagoner and Jeff Buckley. My version is kind of a mesh of their versions in whatever tiny or glaringly gigantic way.

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Good Decision – Smack Down on McCain-Feingold

I have had the misfortune of listening to ill informed and irrational people that are upset about the Supreme Court of the United States decision in favor of corporations being able to spread messages about candidates near election time. Many such individuals complain that the court has given corporations freedom of speech. I must ask if people who work at corporations are not ‘people’? Are they not included in ‘We the People’? Using logic anyone can see that they should be allowed to voice their opinions in politics. This court decision is one of the few ways the constitution has been upheld.

Corporations are people. They are collections of people. Just as our country is a collection of people. Last time I checked, corporations were not run by animals or furniture. As people they have all the same rights as any of the other citizens in the country. Even the right to assemble together and make a political ad that voices their opinion on any subject.

Such groups are obviously not an individual person, which is where many foolish individuals go awry. Many seem to think that people in corporations don’t have rights. Corporations are groups of people. Simply because there are more individuals does not mean that their rights are then removed. In fact, individuals have the right to assemble. When assembled do these individuals lose their rights? As a group they still have the ability and right to speak freely.

Some people act as if having more messages out there regarding choices in elections is going to force them to vote for someone they don’t want to.

Foreign entities cannot give money to candidates. Many people who misunderstand seem to think that more voicing of opinion equals more corruption and foreign money influencing our country. The Court’s decision did not change laws about foreign money in our elections or candidates and corporations getting together and plotting victories.

Some are concerned that corporations are too powerful and will get away with corrupt behavior when given their freedom. If they do something wrong, find the law they broke, gather evidence and charge them with the crime. If you can’t find anyone in government who will do their only job (enforce laws and protect rights) then you have a bigger problem than just evil corporations. (Which problem, I contend, we do have.)

All anyone ever does is push legislation that they want or like. Again I must question why people think that seeing a commercial put out by a corporation is going to force someone to vote a particular way.

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2009 Razzies

Alright people, the only awards that mean anything are back and they have all the worst junk from the previous year. They also have some special decade awards for those who have tortured us the most for the last ten years. This year is also special because they have been going for 30 years now. Who doesn’t love the Razzies?

Worst Picture:
All About Steve
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Land of The Lost
Old Dogs
Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen

My Pick: I haven’t actually seen any of these movies. I would have to pick Transformers though, because of the sweet How it Should Have Ended video.

Worst Actor:
All Three Jonas Brothers – JONAS BROTHERS: THE 3-D CONCERT EXPERIENCE
Will Ferrell – LAND OF THE LOST
Steve Martin – PINK PANTHER 2
Eddie Murphy – IMAGINE THAT
John Travolta – OLD DOGS

My Pick: Again, haven’t seen any of these. I would have to go for either Ferrell out of pure hatred or Travolta because of his track record.

Worst Actress:
Beyonce – OBSESSED
Sandra Bullock – ALL ABOUT STEVE
Miley Cyrus – HANNAH MONTANA: THE MOVIE
Megan Fox – JENNIFER’s BODY and TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN
Sarah Jessica Parker – DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MORGANS?

My Pick: Wow, haven’t even heard of most of these. And I can’t decide who deserves it based on my equal distaste for them all. They all win my pick.

Worst Supporting Actor:
Billy Ray Cyrus – HANNAH MONTANA: THE MOVIE
Hugh Hefner (as Himself) – MISS MARCH
Robert Pattinson – TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON
Jorma Taccone (as Cha-Ka) – LAND OF THE LOST
Marlon Wayans – G.I. JOE

My Pick: At this point I am really just listing them for your information. I have not seen one of these films so far.

Worst Supporting Actress:
Candice Bergen – BRIDE WARS
Ali Larter – OBSESSED
Sienna Miller – G.I. JOE
Kelly Preston – OLD DOGS
Julie White (as Mom) – TRANNIES, TOO

My Pick: Still no.

Worst On-Screen Couple:
Any Two (or More) Jonas Brothers – THE JONAS BROTHERS 3-D CONCERT EXPERIENCE
Sandra Bullock & Bradley Cooper – ALL ABOUT STEVE
Will Ferrell & Any Co-Star, Creature or “Comic Riff” – LAND OF THE LOST
Shia LaBeouf & EITHER Megan Fox OR Any Transformer – TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN
Kristen Stewart & EITHER Robert Pattinson OR Taylor Whatz-His-Fang – TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON

My Pick: Oh Boy.

Worst Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel:

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Land of The Lost
Pink Panther 2 – (A Rip-Off of a Sequel to a Remake)
Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen
Twilight Saga: New Moon

My Pick: To mix it up I will throw another pick at stupid Will Ferrell.

Worst Director:
Michael Bay – TRANNIES, TOO
Walt Becker – OLD DOGS
Brad Silberling – LAND OF THE LOST
Stephen Sommers – G.I. JOE
Phil Traill – ALL ABOUT STEVE

My Pick: I give it to Will Ferrell again.

Worst Screenplay:
All About Steve
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Land of The Lost
Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen
Twilight Saga: New Moon

My Pick: Not much variety in these lists.

Worst Picture of the Decade:
Battlefield Earth (2000) – Nominated for 10 RAZZIES® / “Winner” of 8 (Including Worst Drama of Our First 25 Yrs)

Freddy Got Fingered (2001) – Nominated for 9 RAZZIES® / “Winner” of 5

Gigli (2003) – Nominated for 10 RAZZIES® / “Winner” of 7 (Including Worst Comedy of Our First 25 Yrs)

I Know Who Killed Me (2007) – Nominated for 9 RAZZIES® / “Winner” of 8

Swept Away (2002) – Nominated for 9 RAZZIES® / “Winner” of 5

My Pick: I have only seen Battlefield Earth so I have to pick it from this list. But I really must pick ‘Lost in Translation’ starring Bill Murray which is one of the most pointless and stupid movies ever. Don’t watch it.

Worst Actor of the Decade:
Ben Affleck – Nominated for 9 “Achievements,” “Winner” of 2 RAZZIES® DAREDEVIL, GIGLI, JERSEY GIRL, PAYCHECK, PEARL HARBOR, SURVIVING CHRISTMAS

Eddie Murphy – Nominated for 12 “Achievements,” “Winner” of 3 RAZZIES®
ADVENTURES of PLUTO NASH, I SPY, IMAGINE THAT, MEET DAVE, NORBIT, SHOWTIME

Mike Myers – Nominated for 4 “Achievements,” “Winner” of 2 RAZZIES® CAT IN THE HAT, THE LOVE GURU

Rob Schneider – Nominated for 6 “Achievements,” “Winner” of 1 RAZZIE® THE ANIMAL, BENCHWARMERS, DEUCE BIGALO: EUROPEAN GIGOLO, GRANDMA’s BOY, THE HOT CHICK,
I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK & LARRY, LITTLE MAN, LITTLE NICKY

John Travolta – Nominated for 6 “Achievements,” “Winner” of 3 RAZZIES® BATTLEFIELD EARTH, DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE, LUCKY NUMBERS, OLD DOGS, SWORDFISH

My Pick: hmmm, Ben Affleck, John Travolta, Affleck, Travolta.

Worst Actress of the Decade:

Mariah Carey – The Single Biggest Individual Vote Getter of the Decade: 70+% of ALL Votes for Worst Actress of 2001 – GLITTER

Paris Hilton – Nominated for 5 “Achievements,” “Winner” of 4 RAZZIES® THE HOTTIE & THE NOTTIE, HOUSE of WHACKS, REPO: THE GENETIC OPERA

Lindsay Lohan – Nominated for 5 “Achievements,” “Winner” of 3 RAZZIES® HERBIE FULLY LOADED, I KNOW WHO KILLED ME, JUST MY LUCK

Jennifer Lopez – Nominated for 9 “Achievements,” “Winner” of 2 RAZZIES® ANGEL EYES, ENOUGH, GIGLI, JERSEY GIRL, MAID IN MANHATTAN, MONSTER-IN-LAW, THE WEDDING PLANNER

Madonna – Nominated for 6 “Achievements,”“Winner” of 4 RAZZIES® DIE ANOTHER DAY, THE NEXT BEST THING, SWEPT AWAY

My Pick: Did you expect me to be able to pick just one? Winners all around.