2009 Razzies

Alright people, the only awards that mean anything are back and they have all the worst junk from the previous year. They also have some special decade awards for those who have tortured us the most for the last ten years. This year is also special because they have been going for 30 years now. Who doesn’t love the Razzies?

Worst Picture:
All About Steve
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Land of The Lost
Old Dogs
Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen

My Pick: I haven’t actually seen any of these movies. I would have to pick Transformers though, because of the sweet How it Should Have Ended video.

Worst Actor:
All Three Jonas Brothers – JONAS BROTHERS: THE 3-D CONCERT EXPERIENCE
Will Ferrell – LAND OF THE LOST
Steve Martin – PINK PANTHER 2
Eddie Murphy – IMAGINE THAT
John Travolta – OLD DOGS

My Pick: Again, haven’t seen any of these. I would have to go for either Ferrell out of pure hatred or Travolta because of his track record.

Worst Actress:
Beyonce – OBSESSED
Sandra Bullock – ALL ABOUT STEVE
Miley Cyrus – HANNAH MONTANA: THE MOVIE
Megan Fox – JENNIFER’s BODY and TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN
Sarah Jessica Parker – DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MORGANS?

My Pick: Wow, haven’t even heard of most of these. And I can’t decide who deserves it based on my equal distaste for them all. They all win my pick.

Worst Supporting Actor:
Billy Ray Cyrus – HANNAH MONTANA: THE MOVIE
Hugh Hefner (as Himself) – MISS MARCH
Robert Pattinson – TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON
Jorma Taccone (as Cha-Ka) – LAND OF THE LOST
Marlon Wayans – G.I. JOE

My Pick: At this point I am really just listing them for your information. I have not seen one of these films so far.

Worst Supporting Actress:
Candice Bergen – BRIDE WARS
Ali Larter – OBSESSED
Sienna Miller – G.I. JOE
Kelly Preston – OLD DOGS
Julie White (as Mom) – TRANNIES, TOO

My Pick: Still no.

Worst On-Screen Couple:
Any Two (or More) Jonas Brothers – THE JONAS BROTHERS 3-D CONCERT EXPERIENCE
Sandra Bullock & Bradley Cooper – ALL ABOUT STEVE
Will Ferrell & Any Co-Star, Creature or “Comic Riff” – LAND OF THE LOST
Shia LaBeouf & EITHER Megan Fox OR Any Transformer – TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN
Kristen Stewart & EITHER Robert Pattinson OR Taylor Whatz-His-Fang – TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON

My Pick: Oh Boy.

Worst Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel:

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Land of The Lost
Pink Panther 2 – (A Rip-Off of a Sequel to a Remake)
Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen
Twilight Saga: New Moon

My Pick: To mix it up I will throw another pick at stupid Will Ferrell.

Worst Director:
Michael Bay – TRANNIES, TOO
Walt Becker – OLD DOGS
Brad Silberling – LAND OF THE LOST
Stephen Sommers – G.I. JOE
Phil Traill – ALL ABOUT STEVE

My Pick: I give it to Will Ferrell again.

Worst Screenplay:
All About Steve
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Land of The Lost
Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen
Twilight Saga: New Moon

My Pick: Not much variety in these lists.

Worst Picture of the Decade:
Battlefield Earth (2000) – Nominated for 10 RAZZIES® / “Winner” of 8 (Including Worst Drama of Our First 25 Yrs)

Freddy Got Fingered (2001) – Nominated for 9 RAZZIES® / “Winner” of 5

Gigli (2003) – Nominated for 10 RAZZIES® / “Winner” of 7 (Including Worst Comedy of Our First 25 Yrs)

I Know Who Killed Me (2007) – Nominated for 9 RAZZIES® / “Winner” of 8

Swept Away (2002) – Nominated for 9 RAZZIES® / “Winner” of 5

My Pick: I have only seen Battlefield Earth so I have to pick it from this list. But I really must pick ‘Lost in Translation’ starring Bill Murray which is one of the most pointless and stupid movies ever. Don’t watch it.

Worst Actor of the Decade:
Ben Affleck – Nominated for 9 “Achievements,” “Winner” of 2 RAZZIES® DAREDEVIL, GIGLI, JERSEY GIRL, PAYCHECK, PEARL HARBOR, SURVIVING CHRISTMAS

Eddie Murphy – Nominated for 12 “Achievements,” “Winner” of 3 RAZZIES®
ADVENTURES of PLUTO NASH, I SPY, IMAGINE THAT, MEET DAVE, NORBIT, SHOWTIME

Mike Myers – Nominated for 4 “Achievements,” “Winner” of 2 RAZZIES® CAT IN THE HAT, THE LOVE GURU

Rob Schneider – Nominated for 6 “Achievements,” “Winner” of 1 RAZZIE® THE ANIMAL, BENCHWARMERS, DEUCE BIGALO: EUROPEAN GIGOLO, GRANDMA’s BOY, THE HOT CHICK,
I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK & LARRY, LITTLE MAN, LITTLE NICKY

John Travolta – Nominated for 6 “Achievements,” “Winner” of 3 RAZZIES® BATTLEFIELD EARTH, DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE, LUCKY NUMBERS, OLD DOGS, SWORDFISH

My Pick: hmmm, Ben Affleck, John Travolta, Affleck, Travolta.

Worst Actress of the Decade:

Mariah Carey – The Single Biggest Individual Vote Getter of the Decade: 70+% of ALL Votes for Worst Actress of 2001 – GLITTER

Paris Hilton – Nominated for 5 “Achievements,” “Winner” of 4 RAZZIES® THE HOTTIE & THE NOTTIE, HOUSE of WHACKS, REPO: THE GENETIC OPERA

Lindsay Lohan – Nominated for 5 “Achievements,” “Winner” of 3 RAZZIES® HERBIE FULLY LOADED, I KNOW WHO KILLED ME, JUST MY LUCK

Jennifer Lopez – Nominated for 9 “Achievements,” “Winner” of 2 RAZZIES® ANGEL EYES, ENOUGH, GIGLI, JERSEY GIRL, MAID IN MANHATTAN, MONSTER-IN-LAW, THE WEDDING PLANNER

Madonna – Nominated for 6 “Achievements,”“Winner” of 4 RAZZIES® DIE ANOTHER DAY, THE NEXT BEST THING, SWEPT AWAY

My Pick: Did you expect me to be able to pick just one? Winners all around.